News is for suckers, so suck it up.
1. Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer. More here.
2. Trump says Jeff Sessions’ decision to recuse himself from the Russian investigation was “very unfair to the president”, and had he known this he would not he picked Sessions as Attorney General. More here.
3. The BBC published the salaries of its top entertainers for the first time and revealed a huge gendered pay gap. But noooo, the wage gap is a myth created by feminists to help them take over the world. More here.
4. OJ Simpson will ask the Nevada parole board for early release today. Will The Juice get loose? More here.
5. In other Trump news, El Trumpo has nominated a climate change denier for the top science job at the Department of Agriculture. This is sure to have a positive impact on the environment. More here.