COMEDY
03/12/2017 05:23 am ET Updated Mar 12, 2017

Proudly Sober Pete Davidson Steals 'Weekend Update' With Penis News

And some zingers at Republicans in power.

Often-absent “Saturday Night Live” cast member Pete Davidson was back after successfully getting sober — and he had some promising news on “Weekend Update” pointing to a happier sex life.

Davidson revealed earlier in the week that he has been mostly MIA because he’s been getting sober for the first time in eight years — which he happily announced on Instagram. In an appearance on Opie Radio Friday he said he quit everything — alcohol, cigarettes, pot and mushrooms — and that it’s been a bit “boring” without those crutches.

But, he noted on “SNL,” one thing has definitely perked up: his penis. “At least I have dreams now, and I’ve started waking up with boners again. Hard as a rock,” Davidson crowed.

He took time, too, to zing a few personalities in the Trump administration, such as aide Steve Miller, who looks like the man voted “most likely to have a cigar box full of missing girls’ driver’s licenses.” He noted Paul Ryan got to be House speaker after someone “waved a magic wand over a ventriloquist’s dummy.”

”Weekend Update” co-hosts Michael Che and Colin Jost also got their licks in. They skewered the new GOP “health” care plan, or “Trumpcare.” Che asked: “How bad does something have to be for Trump not to want to put his name on it?”

Jost joshed that the plan will give the very rich a massive tax break, while offering the poor a “box of generic Band-Aids and a travel-size bottle of Airborne” health tablets.

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