Please Stop Asking Me Why I'm Single

It's really not a compliment.

I know you mean it as a compliment. Family members, family friends, boys who are interested in changing the fact that I’m single, my Uber driver, the lady who works at the nail salon, and every other adult who thinks I’m a generally normal person within the first four minutes of meeting me — thank you for asking me why I’m single because “any guy would be lucky to have me.” I know. But it’s really not a compliment. So please stop asking me why I’m single.

I’m 22. I’m not at risk of being single forever, and I still have plenty of time to make babies. My standards are high. I’m not going to lower them just so I can be in a relationship. I have, like, 80 years to be married, so I’m okay with being single now, and I don’t see why that’s a bad thing.

I’m really happy being single. If I had complete control over how my life was going, I would keep 98 percent of things as is. It would really take something spectacular for me to be in a relationship that makes me as happy as I am being single.

I need to focus on myself right now. Isn’t this the time where we “find ourselves?” I think I’m already pretty found, but just in case, I like my freedom and to spend my time doing whatIwant to do. Nothing pains me more than college-age friends saying they can’t do something they want to do because their boyfriend said no. You do you, girl.

I have dreams that I want to accomplish alone. And by this I mean traveling. I want to do it alone... and with friends. But what I don’t want to do is stay in my stinky hostel bedroom while everyone goes out because I wouldn’t want my boyfriend at home to be uncomfortable about it. If you’re in a relationship and your other half is supportive of your dreams and goals, that’s amazing. Let me know if he has any brothers. But for me, I need to accomplish things on my own right now. This is my time to make myself happy because I know later in life, I will be putting my family first. (Also I want to kiss foreign boys with accents... and I guess American ones too.)

You asking why I’m not in a relationship reminds me of all of my failed relationships. Literally every time. Maybe I could be in a happy relationship, but there’s always something that goes wrong. I appreciate the reminder of my mistakes, though.

I don’t know. Believe me, if the man of my dreams walked into my life, I probably wouldn’t be single. Did he get lost? Is there something wrong with me? Am I way too picky? (probably) But I believe that there is a plan for my life, and I really don’t need to worry about it, because it will turn out better than I could have imagined. So please stop asking me why I’m single, because although you have good intentions, I’m extremely happy as is, and I just really don’t know.

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