Many people have misconceptions of what nice behavior is or call themselves nice for the wrong reasons. I want to clear up the most common ones up so that more nice people can finish first. Here are some myths about what nice people should or shouldn't do that aren't true.
It's not nice to say "no." Wrong! What's not nice is to say "no" to what you want in order to say "yes" to others. It's nice to do favors when you can, not at the expense of your own needs. Empowered nice people know that saying "no" to what you don't want to do says "yes" to your preferences!
It's nice to always go along with what others want. Wrong! It's not nice to put what you want to do on the back burner to please others. Good relationships are built on comprising so everyone has their way at least sometimes. Empowered nice people make their desires known. It's nice to have an equal say in the restaurant or movie to go to or other decisions that affect you.
Nice people should please everyone. Wrong! It's not nice when giving is a one-way street and you're going the wrong way. Empowered nice people please people on an individual basis, based on what works for you and who the person is. Pleasing people should feel good, not make you feel used or taken for granted. The more you nourish yourself, the more energy you have to give to others.
It's important to be liked by everyone. Wrong! There's nothing nice about you being unhappy, no matter how many are happy as a result of your sacrifice. It's impossible to make everyone like you. And buying people with favors doesn't mean they like you. They may just like the perks of keeping you around. Empowered nice people know when you're kind but set boundaries on what you can do, you find out who likes you for you! Those people are the keepers.
Nice people are modest. Wrong! It's not nice to belittle yourself or avoid sharing what you're proud of since owning accomplishments increases self-esteem. That doesn't mean overtly bragging, which does get annoying. Many of us were taught to downplay our victories and shrug off compliments instead of acknowledging them. Empowered nice people know that when you just say "thank you" and nothing more when receiving praise and express pride about your successes and wonderful qualities, confidence increases.
It's nicer to keep the peace than to risk an argument. Wrong! Keeping quiet about things that bother you is not nice because it can stir up anger, frustration and other negative emotions that hurt you. Silence tells people what they're doing is okay when it's not. Empowered nice people know you should and can be heard by speaking your mind in a considerate, friendly and straightforward manner. If you keep your emotions in check and gently explain how you feel, it shouldn't erupt into an argument.
Being nice gets a lot less. People pleasers who think they're nice get upset when they feel they don't get back for all they give and believe they must do a 180 and become tough and aggressive in order to succeed. Empowered nice people know that people pleasing is not nice and you should give when you want to, not because it's expected or you want something in return. Let go of those erroneous myths about what nice behavior is and do your best to be considerate, friendly, respectful and giving with boundaries. That helps you become a nice person who finishes first.