Simone Biles is being touted as the best woman gymnast of all times. She's the young U.S. Olympian who's taken the games by storm and won four gold medals. She is an absolute powerhouse and so much fun to watch. However, during the balance beam competition, she bobbled and put her hands down. That's a big no-no. So, instead of winning the gold, she grabbed the bronze.
I can't help but wonder how Simone feels about that one mistake. Will she be kind and gentle to herself and celebrate that she medalled? Or will she give herself a mental lashing?
Can you relate? How would you handle this?
It can be really hard to focus on the good rather than the bad. Unless Simone's as much a powerhouse in her mind as she is in the gym, I'm guessing she is beating herself up a bit. She's won the all-around title at the World Championships three times. The consensus has been that no one could beat her. But this time, someone did.
It's so much easier to fixate on our mistakes than to celebrate our successes.
Why do we do this?
I had to meditate on this question because I have definitely been a master at obsessing about my own mistakes in the past. Here's the answer I received when I went within and asked.
"People want to be the best because they want to be loved. When they make mistakes, their egos tell them that they will be abandoned and lose others' love for screwing up."
Losing someone's love might look like losing a job, a loved one, or in the case of Simone Biles, she might fear losing her status and future opportunities. These are just a few of the fears that cause us to be hard on ourselves.
Are you guilty of beating yourself up?
Think about the times where you've focused on your mistakes. Take a moment and check in with yourself. Why did your focus go there? Were you seeking someone's approval? Were you in survival mode believing that if you screwed up you might lose your job? Were you concerned about losing a relationship with a friend, child, parent, or spouse?
Now think about the aftermath of being hard on yourself. Did you feel others' judgment? Or did you just "think" you did?
We often read judgment into people's words and actions because that's what we think we deserve when we make a mistake. Do you do this? Do you play mind games with yourself and have horrible mind chatter imagining what others are saying about you?
I could go on and on here with how we treat ourselves, because as I said, I have been a master at this. I had no permission to make mistakes in the past. When I did, I often beat myself up for days. And in some cases, for years!
As you beat yourself up about your mistakes, you sit in guilt. And if you feel bad about yourself, you're not going to be open to receive love.
Last week I wrote about embracing your humanness to create a life of grace and ease. Embracing your mistakes is part of this path. To be human, you will make mistakes. The key is how you deal with them.
Seeing your mistakes as gifts to move deeper into unconditional love is the key to turning them into your greatest success story.
(Photo Credit: Getty Images)
To move into unconditional love and find inner success, you must release the subconscious beliefs that cause your fear of making mistakes in the first place.
Try this exercise:
If there is a mistake that still haunts you or if you fear making a mistake, I invite you to take a breath and visualize the little girl inside of you. Ask her, "What is your greatest fear about screwing up?"
Get really honest with yourself.
Now ask her, "What's the belief that is causing your fear?"
Once you get to the bottom of it, send that belief into the white light of God. Let it go. That belief is not the truth. Give the little girl inside of you permission to be human. As you do, she will feel loved, nurtured and supported by you!
As you embrace your mistakes, your heart will explode open because you feel safe to be in the world. No longer will you fear losing someone's love because you now feel a deep connection within. And in this state of inner success, you will stay open to receive everything you need with grace and ease.
My hope for Simone Biles and you is that you'll always be kind and gentle to yourself. YOU are your greatest success story as you embrace your mistakes and love yourself unconditionally.
Celebrate everything...the mistakes and the successes! Know that everything, and I mean everything, is part of your Divine path to move deeper into unconditional love. Once you embrace this truth, focusing on mistakes will be a thing of the past.
Terri Britt is a spiritual coach, inspirational speaker, former Miss USA, and the award-winning author of The Enlightened Mom. Are you ready to raise your worthiness quotient? Are you ready to love yourself unconditionally and live a life of inner and outer success, AND do it with grace and ease? Grab my free Worthiness Quotient Breakthrough Bundle and I'll show you how.