COMEDY
01/21/2016 04:44 pm ET

When Someone In The Office Steals Your Food And You Want Justice

We're dealing with pure evil here.

Food thieves are not just taking food from you. They're taking your stomach's innocence. And they're even leaving something more vile in its place: the unyielding pangs of hunger. 

I recently lost food near and dear to me. But, dammit, I wasn't going to let them win. Preheat the ovens of justice to 666 degrees, because if I'm going without my food ... then I'm taking you to hell with me.

  • The victim.
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  • The scene of the crime. Warning: The following images may be disturbing.
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  • Monsters.
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  • Then just a few feet away. Is there no good in the world?
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  • Someone decided to wash down that Snickers bar with some ice cold refreshing milk. Quenching a thirst for evil, no doubt!
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  • The milk didn't do the trick, huh? You might have gotten the stains off your face, but they will always be on your SOUL.
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  • Let's find a witness. Maybe someone saw the crime.
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  • Be thorough in your questioning. Get as much info as possible.
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  • When you've exhausted your resources, see if your witness knows has any other potential leads.
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  • You and your complete disregard for the food of others makes me sick.
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  • But know this. I will find you, food thief. I will find you.
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