The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
i do my taxes like someone who has clearly given up on a Sudoku but continues filling in numbers anyway
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 29, 2016
Walked past a dude who ghosted on me while I looked cute so dreams do come true.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) March 28, 2016
Watch Beyoncé drop her album on April Fool's Day just to remind us how much she doesn't play games.
— Taryn Finley (@_TARYNitUP) March 31, 2016
FYI if you ask a guy how he prefers women's pubic hair & he says anything other than "I GET TO SEE A NAKED WOMAN?!" push him in a trash fire
— maura quint (@behindyourback) March 28, 2016
Honestly I think there is 1 black wigmaker in Hollywood, which is why Cookie Lyon and Annalise Keating can never look good at the same time
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) March 31, 2016
I would never put a guy in a friend zone, because there's no way I'd be friends with someone who'd believe in that as a thing.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 30, 2016
"Stuff to tell you" gets an A+ in Ominous Email Subjects, Mom
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) March 25, 2016
remember when pigeons used to be afraid of people
— Zeba Blay (@zblay) March 30, 2016
lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man who denies grabbing a female reporter when there are hundreds of cameras around
— Marisa Kabas (@MarisaKabas) March 29, 2016
Guys, remember binders full of women?
— Erin Ruberry (@erinruberry) March 29, 2016
Those were simpler times.
me, a lactose in denial: yes i would like extra cheese please
— hibs (@casablsncas) March 27, 2016
when i see men outside past 10pm i'm like "what is this criminal minds unsub doing?"
— black frances ha (@imbobswaget) April 1, 2016
how do I break it to my dad that my pure barre instructor has replaced him as person i'm most desperate to impress
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) March 29, 2016
Look it's fine to troll me but don't you dare put yr hateful email in Comic Sans
— Sam Escobar (@myhairisblue) April 1, 2016
*checks phone from last night*
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) March 31, 2016
how could my best friend, cabernet sauvignon, betray me like this
I'm at a writers conference on April Fool's Day so I'm probably just gonna start a rumor that Elena Ferrante is also here (she's me.)
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) April 1, 2016
My elevator buddy aggressively hit the close door button while somebody sprinted to make it in time IF I DIE IN HERE PLS WATER MY SUCCULENT
— Julia Bush (@jabush) March 29, 2016
Please don't "April Fools" me. If I wanted you to lie to my face, I'd date you.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) April 1, 2016
*Showing me a picture of your baby*
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 30, 2016
Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
I'm looking for a snap chat filter that makes it look like I care about what other people are saying when they talk.
— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) April 1, 2016
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