What is your dream job?
A question asked frequently while we grow up. Sometimes naive, often pushed by parents, we all have our own versions of dreams. Lately I have been conversing with a few people that made me think about the dark sides of dreams, that literally ruin our lives and surprisingly no one tells us about.
I’m guessing that’s because not many people actually believe that kids will really chase those dreams when they grow up. I’ve seen adults who laugh and ridcule the dreams of their kids and ignore them because they are so sure that as their kids grow up, they will have that ‘daily-wage’ mindset. The mindset that only cares about the end result and measures everything in money.Ultimately the kiddish dream would be given up along the way.
A friend who runs a salon, who actually has an engineering degree, asked for my advice about starting a garment business. She already tried and quit two fast food businesses and a job. She also participated in Master Chef, the reality TV cooking show and got refused in stage 2 when she was asked why do you want to be in the show.
Just hearing her words, I could literally see all the three dark sides of dreams right in front of my eyes. In this article I share them with you and warn you about dreams.
#1 The MONEY dream
Money is a basic need for survival. We all need to pay bills and have food and shelter. Yet, this is not the stone age. If your end goal is money, you’re on the wrong track and you will never, ever, ever find happiness in life. Watch this to hear it from multiple millionaires.
That’s simply because money is only a means to an end. When you dream of earning lots of money to do something with it such as charity, family growth, travel, education that is a good dream to have. The key here is the action steps.
No dream is golden on it’s own unless it is executed.
When your dream is to have buttloads of money, you have a very diluted and distorted list of objectives and therefore no action steps.
However when your end goal is to open a school for example, then you have action steps to reach that goal. You have a path and you will be able to execute on that dream. And it’s also proven by various researches that money does bring happiness but only to a certain amount. After that it only brings loneliness and depression.
#2 The Hodge-Podge of dreams
This is a state when you have too many dreams. One day you want to be an astronaut, another, pilot. I know people who get enrolled in a diploma only to discover the full form of the acronyms two months after admissions. This happens because of either of these two causes:
- Either you’re influenced by someone and you want to copy that person because you think what they are doing is very cool.
- Or you have a catastrophic event taking place such as deaths, births, divorces, marriages etc that need financial investment and you’re kind of taking random guesses.
In both the above cases, you might be in a rush. Trust me, when it comes to money, no one wants to wait. I bet you’ve also heard that there is no short cut to success. But when either of the above two things happen, what people do is rush to the closest golden shiny thing that makes them belief they will make money.
This makes them completely lose focus of one goal and mindlessly chase behind whatever shiny thing comes along next. In this stage your dreams look like a trainwreck.
My suggestion- have one or two major dreams in life and chase only after them. You might try different ways to reach that goal but don’t have a million goals. That way all you’ll become is a jack of all trades and master of none.
#3 The absence of dreams
This state is inside the brain of a hopeless, pessimist person who has no dreams. When someone uses the words- faith, hope, positive, pray or success in front of them, they burst out.
This is also what I call the ‘poverty mindset’. Just because you’ve been poor in the past does not mean you cannot change your future.
But if your future plans are predicated on the wreckage of your past, you may not go too far.
One might also refer to this state as disaster dreams. In fact the common phrases you might hear from such people are-
“Things will never turn out to be good.”
“Nothing good ever happens to me.”
“My fate is doomed, I’m a born loser.”
“Your positive BS talk just pisses me off.” and a new one I collected recently-
“I hate Tony Robbins, can you please change the channel.”
I’m not judging but if someone can’t stand a person with such positive sunshine attitude in life, that reflects the level of pessimism in this person.When your mind is filled with such negativity, you won’t have the guts to plan any actions and you will always be a moaner, a complainer who blames it on the government, the economy, the family, your teachers and the politicans, but never take responsibility for your success.
To sum up, always remember these three things about dreams-
1-Don’t make money your end goal/dream.
2- Have only few dreams so that you can focus on the execution.
3- Negative dreams will keep you at rock bottom. Use positive dreams as a staircase that leads you to the sky.