Two years ago, I made a promise to myself. When faced with a situation where I was asked to do something - no matter how small - if I didn't get an immediate full body "Yes!", I would stop and ask myself, "Do I really want to do this?" I gave myself permission to think on things I am asked to do (you can always say, "Let me check my schedule and get back to you") and I gave myself permission to say no.
Then I ran into a bit of a snag...
I realized that my problem isn't saying no when people ask me to do something for them, it's taking on their stuff without them even asking. For example, right after I made that promise to myself, in the span of 3 hours, I had unwittingly volunteered to drive 30 minutes out of my way every Monday to take a friend to class, had smoke blown in my face because I didn't want to offend my other friend who asked to speak to me after class on her smoke break, and served as therapist to 4 of my classmates.
By the time I went to bed, I had the start of what turned into a full-blown head cold. Yes, Universe, dully noted that I did not speak my truth or abide by the promise I made to myself to stop taking on everyone else's stuff.
This is something I have now been actively working on for the past two years and I still find myself falling in the trap - volunteering to help others at expense to myself without even realizing I'm doing it until after it happens. Then I pay for it...
So how should I handle this? I asked this question of my friend and chiropractor, who is also an intuitive. "Put yourself on a pedestal," she said. "You need to value yourself above others right now."
This is big. Huge. Like most women, I was taught to always put myself last and everyone else first - part Superwoman, part people-pleaser, part I-don't-know-what. So the very notion of putting myself not just on an equal plane with others, but on a pedestal is daunting.
I had asked her how I was supposed to accomplish this to ensure I didn't fall back into that old trap again. She said, "You have to pretend you are a Goddess; make up your own Goddess, if you have to." I thought what a great, fun idea that sounded like. But, it's more than that. It's not just about making up a new Goddess; it's about Be-ing Her. Be-ing the Goddess within.
Are you ready to fully embrace your Goddess self in 2016? I know I am. 2013 was the Year of the Cosmic 2x4 for me. 2014 was supposed to be the Year of Me, and it was, but not the way I originally envisioned it. You see, I kept giving my power away and kept having to fight to take it back. 2015 was the year I began to take back and walk in my power. I spent much of last year releasing what no longer served - old beliefs, old patterns, old archetypes that were dragging me down.
But making up my own Goddess and Be-ing Her? Hello 2016!
I decided to do two things to remind myself that I am supposed to be my #1/Goddess-in-Training right now - pedestal and all. First, I started drawing a heart on my palm again as it reminds me to take care of me. Second, I started an affirmation practice each morning. I decided to start off my day by reminding myself of my promises to myself.
Here's what I came up with:
- I am true to me, always.
- I listen to, trust, and follow my intuition.
- I love, honor, respect and trust the woman I see in the mirror and I set boundaries in my life to respect and honor her.
- I never break a promise to myself - not a big one and not a small one.
- I trust my own intuitive insights and I trust myself to deal with each new development with love for myself.
- My soul is stronger than any struggle that is thrown my way.
- I am unstoppable and limitless.
- I honor my Inner Goddess and divine feminine nature.
- I put my mental and physical well-being at the top of the list.
- I choose to make positive, healthy choices for myself.
- All my relationships are harmonious and loving.
- I am sacred. My body is sacred, my feelings are sacred, my mind is sacred, my spirit is sacred. I am sacred.
- I live wholeheartedly and have a blast doing it!
- This is the year I soar.
I then end my morning practice with the following question:
- What do I need to do for me today?
Are you ready to Be a Goddess? To make 2016 the year you take your power and your life back? What are you doing to take care of yourself? How are you going to say No? I'd love to hear your tips and practices in the comments below.