The Kind Of Friends You Need In Your Life

They should each provide you with something unique.
09/25/2017 12:10 pm ET Updated Sep 27, 2017

A discovery people tend to make as they get older is that they’d rather have a handful of great friends rather than a ton of mediocre ones.  As Al Capone once said:

“Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.”

I absolutely agree with that, and I’ve even recently written about friendships fading and ending as we go through life.  It’s a natural occurrence.  But that said, I’m lucky to still call more than a handful of people my good friends.  I have a bunch of “quarters.”  I got to thinking about why I love these people so damn much and I started to realize that, yes, it’s because they’re all wonderful humans, but also?  They each provide me with something unique.  There’s a friend I go to when I need a fun night out, and a friend I go to when I need advice.  

Different friends and people in your life can all bring something special and yet valuable to the table.  If you’re lucky, one person brings several things – but in my humble opinion – these are the kind of friends you need in your life:

  • The one who keeps it 100.  Sugar coat?  Pffffft, no, honey.  They’re not Willy Wonka.  They give it to you straight.  They tell you you’re an IDIOT for screwing things up with that guy/girl.  They advise you in the dressing room not to buy that dress; it’s just not flattering on you. Go to them when you want the unapologetic truth.
  • The one you can trust with your deepest darkest secrets.  Woops!  You did something you probablyyyyyy shouldn’t have done.  You’re in a serious pickle and need help… discreetly.  Or perhaps you need to vent and it might get really, really REAL.  Who are you going to?  The person you trust most.  You guys keep secrets of each others that you will take to your damn graves.
  • The one who lives in a no judgement zone.  This person has seen and done it all and therefore is completely unfazed by your shenanigans.  You confess something to them because you know you won’t be judged or critiqued.  They are not about that life.
  • The one that shows up.   Whether it’s something big like you’re 35th birthday soiree or your bridal shower, or something small like: “hey, I’m kinda in a funky place right now and could use a friend.”  They are there, no matter what.  No questions asked.  No excuses.
  • The one who’s your comic relief.  This is who you go to when you need to belly laugh.  To engage in tomfoolery.  To break the ice when things are getting all too serious up in here.  The one who makes your abdominals sore and your jaw ache.  
  • The one who’s always up for an adventure.  This one’s ALL ABOUT spontaneity.  In fact, they’re up for anything.  Call em up and say, “hey, wanna go to Vegas this weekend?” and they’ll book the flight while you’re still on the phone.
  • The one who just GETS you. You never need to explain the backstory or even explain much of anything at all.  They know you.  In some ways, they know you better than YOU know you.   They tell your boyfriend, “don’t throw her a surprise party; she’ll hate it.”  They’ll see a simple look on your face and know what it means and how to act. 
  • The one that adds some excitement and spice to your life.  Ho boy.  This one comes with drama and baggage but things are never, EVER boring.  You wonder why you always seem to get yourself in some kind of trouble or mishap when they’re around.  But shit… that’s kinda fun sometimes.
  • The one who drives you up a wall.  They’re less friend and more sibling.  You bicker.  You drive each other crazy.  You love hard and fight hard.  But at the end of the day, it’s REAL.  Ain’t nothing superficial about this friendship.
  • The one who caters to your serious side.  “Hey, wanna go see that new documentary about whales in The Great Barrier Reef?”  This is the one you go to for the side of your personality that means business.  You can talk about the economy, politics, current events or any other ‘serious’ issue that some of your other friends may not care very much about.
  • The one you can sit in comfortable silence with.  ’Nuff said.

What kind of friend do you need most?

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