The Python Blowjob

12/22/2016 05:19 am ET Updated Dec 23, 2016
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This article is part of a series by Australian sex-columnist — Vanessa de Largie.

Her other columns about fellatio include:

The Blowjob Artist The Huffington Post

The Double Blowjob The Huffington Post

The Art of Penis Worship The Huffington Post

The Hum-Balls Harlot The Huffington Post

You can view her full archive of sex columns here

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If the deepthroat blowjob is the ‘Gold Package’ then the python blowjob is the ‘Platinum’.

During a python blowjob — his hard cock becomes my prey.

My mouth constricts around his penis and squeezes the life out of it.

Porn BJ’s are advertised as ‘python blowjobs’ when technically they’re not.

I was unable to find sex columns about this subject.

I thought it was high-time I wrote one.

So here goes...

1889 - Artist: Franz von Stuck
Wikimedia Commons - Public Domain
1889 - Artist: Franz von Stuck

MISSION

As the name suggests.

One pretends they’re a snake and consumes his penis like a python would consume a defenseless goat.

TECHNIQUE

I begin at his knob and work towards his scrotum.

I coil myself around his dick — inch by inch — tighter and tighter.

Soon I have his entire shaft constricted in my mouth — full-gobbly.

BLOWJOB ARTISTRY

In my heart of hearts, I believe fellatio is an art form.

And like any art form, practice makes perfect.

One can train their gag-reflex by practicing on penises, bananas and the neck of beer bottles. (In my opinion, Corona’s work best!).

Can you remember Madonna famously showing her oral skills in the documentary — Madonna: Truth or Dare? Clip below!

ENERGY LEVELS

Any decent blowjob requires enthusiasm and energy. But python blowjobs really push one’s boundaries.

It’s natural to want to take it all in.

It’s natural to want to proceed a-head, (pardon the pun).

The ‘python blowjob’ requires you to move slowly but surely.

When I perform ‘the python’ — my tongue, cheeks and mouth get sore from continuous sucking and flicking.

But ... I HANG in there.

TICK-TOCK

A python blowjob takes 15 minutes but can be dragged out depending on the situation.

By the 15 minute mark — most men succumb and (so do you).

THE BALLS

Not all men.

But a lotta blokes like to have their balls licked and sucked during fellatio.

If you’ve finished the python and he still hasn’t ejaculated.

It’s probably time to give his balls a gargle!

Vanessa de Largie is an Australian actress, author, sex-columnist, freelance journalist and blogger — soon to be based in London.

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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