Contrary to popular belief, 2016 wasn’t a complete, unmitigated disaster.
Not only did the Cubs win the World Series for the first time in 108 years, a cow took on a helicopter ― and won. And sex toys were put to a new use ― fighting crime.
Indeed, 2016 had its share of winners. It’s just that the right people didn’t win. Sorry, Democrats.
Here, now, are our picks for the year’s most memorable weird news stories.
ABC
9. THE ANIMAL UPRISING
Getty Images
Humans have had their day, and they've brought this planet to the edge of ruin. We at HuffPost Weird News have long been anticipating the animal uprising. Maybe it won't be super intelligent apes. Maybe it will be this cow in Australia that took on a helicopter and left it in charred ruins.
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8. THE CRIMINALLY INCOMPETENT
New South Wales Police
A jailbreak is no time for vanity. Yet when police in Australia released Amy Sharp's mugshot, the 19-year-old replied on Facebook, asking cops to use a more flattering photo, which she included in the post. Sharp, who bolted after getting booked on a property offense, might not be so sharp.
7. UNLUCKY
Tim Wimborne / Reuters
We all have our nightmare port-a-potty stories, but few can outdo a construction worker in Sydney, Australia, who was bitten by a poisonous redback spider on his penis as he was relieving himself. He lived to tell the tale, but five months after the April 27 attack, at the same worksite toilet, his man bits again served as snack food for a ravenous arachnid. The little monster chowed down "pretty much on the same spot." This guy, however, endured a better fate than a 17-year-old from Mexico, who suffered convulsions at a family dinner and died after receiving what doctors believe was a fatal, stroke-inducing hickey from his 24-year-old girlfriend.
6. INVISIBLE
Darrin Klimek
Joaquin Garcia had it made. For six years, the building supervisor from Spain was collecting a $41,000 salary at a local government office without showing up. He'd still be collecting his pay, too, if he didn't win an award for 20 years of loyal service. In other invisibility news, the internet freaked out several weeks after the Garcia story broke, when a woman vanished during a live TV report. Some called the woman a ghost. Others suspected "alien activity." Of course, it could be Photoshop and lazy video editing.
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5. OOPS
Accidents will happen. One minute you're a woman losing your pants on a carnival ride, the next you're a little boy turning Santa's reindeer into penises.
@TheUnmumsyMum I know how you appreciate a misunderstood child's drawing. Today my 6yr old drew Santa's reindeer in their stable 😂 pic.twitter.com/WdZETPObyn
— Connie Bennett (@Connie_b88) December 22, 2016
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4. THE STUPID ELECTION
Maury Povich/Getty
From our point of view, there was only one winner in this election: Searcy Hayes, the 21-year-old from Natchez, Miss., who parlayed her uncanny, unsettling resemblance to Texas Sen. Ted Cruise into stardom on the Maury Povich show and a $10,000 porn deal. We'll also throw a nod to the woman who donated her pubic hair to the Trump campaign because, well, let's just not get into it.
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2. MONSTERS
SWNS
We can't go a year without overhyping Bigfoot, Nessie and other monster sightings. That's the weird news way. We also can't explain what you're actually looking at in this photo 58-year-old Ian Bremner took. We can say, however, that this monster gator, worthy of "Jurassic Park" is very, very real.
1. Too Good To Be True
JAMAL HINTON
In case you hadn't got the memo, 2016 sucked. Still, we've got to hang on to whatever we can, like this grandma who accidently texted the wrong teen to invite him to Thanksgiving, but asked him to come nevertheless. And these teens who didn't let a little tornado ruin their prom photo. The message is clear for 2017. We won't let disaster and mayhem ruin our lives. There's always time for a happy ending.
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