We know logically that visibility is important to building an online business. If you’re not visible, and consistently so, people forget about you and they certainly don’t buy from you. But so many of us feel stressed, confused, doubtful, and discouraged when it comes to putting ourselves out there.
Visibility doesn’t have to be an overwhelming, panic-inducing nightmare, though.
Here are the three biggest reasons I find that women often don’t show up consistently, and how to deal with each of them.
1. Fear of judgment or criticism
A lot of us were the student who always wanted to do it just so when we were in school to ensure we got an A, right?
So when it comes to putting ourselves out there, we are terrified to do it wrong, terrified that someone will call us out on that or say something mean, or judge us, misinterpret our intentions, or be offended.
We can also have a fear of putting too much out there online and being one of those people who overshares or is attention-seeking. We know we’re not like that, that’s not why we’re doing it, and we don’t want people to misunderstand.
So how the heck do you learn, and put yourself out there, with all of these things at play that are holding you back?
Well, you choose to make a post with your best intentions, introducing yourself, and trusting that you know why you’re doing it, so your people will, too.
Not everyone’s going to get it, but you don’t want them to, because your brain would explode if the 1.3 billion people on Facebook all wanted to become your client. Right?
So take a deep breath, let it go, recognize the fear, and push “Publish” anyway.
2. Lack of confidence in yourself or what you have to offer
A lot of times we just don’t know if what we have to offer is any good, if people will want it, or if we are good enough/qualified enough/able enough for people to take us seriously, to help our clients get the results we’re talking about, etc.
If you’re feeling this way, you can train your brain to believe and think differently.
People say to me all the time, “I could never do what you do! Just get on video and talk, LIVE?!?! Hold a webinar?!?! Go on a podcast or on TV? No way!!!”
I used to say the same thing, and now I LOVE IT!!! But 2 years ago, that was not the case. I thought if I was going to do a live stream or a webinar, I had to be very calm and straightforward because that is what I thought would make people think I was professional. Then one day I came across a 7-figure coach who was acting goofy and crazy on her live streams, and I adored it. And I thought--that’s the real me. That’s who I’ve always been (but only let the people who knew me really well see). My best friends knew that I was a lot of fun, but for a while, they were the only ones I let see that side of me.
So what changed?
With that realization, I started by just experimenting with showing that side of me online.
The result? Women started saying things like, “I love your energy!,” and then becoming high-paying, ideal clients left and right BECAUSE of the way I was showing up as my real, authentic, genuine, WEIRD, self! Plus, it energized me rather than draining me, built my confidence even more, and taught me a super-valuable lesson about allowing myself to learn and grow along the way.
You’re allowed to learn along the way, and you will evolve. But it starts with looking at why you’re holding yourself back and doing whatever you need to do to build that confidence in yourself, because it is a learnable skill.
How do you build confidence? By taking action. By doing something new.
3. Being discouraged because you tried and feel like it didn’t work
Consistency is the key to building a business. It’s not a one-time post thing, and if someone says it is, they’re LYING TO YOU. LY-ING.
Sure, maybe someone had a post blow up because they used one of those annoying comment ladders. But I guarantee that it wasn’t the first thing they did in business. They first had to do the work of figuring out what their person wanted to hear, where their person was hanging out, and what to offer that person who would find it valuable.
So there’s ALWAYS more behind-the-scenes work that happens than you see. It’s like the iceberg analogy--most of it is unseen.
Example: I’ve had 2 articles featured right here on The Huffington Post, on the Business homepage and Lifestyle homepage. Big deal, right? BUT. I first pitched Huffington Post back in November 2015. I was so disappointed that I didn’t get approved (no response, no nothing) that it took me 9 months to pitch again. This time, aha, I was in, and 6 months later, after consistently posting articles, I had my first one featured. It never would have happened if the first time I put an article out there, I thought, “This is doomed to fail because it didn’t get featured; I obviously suck and so does my business,” and I walked away.
This is where support is key. Find someone to encourage you and pick you back up when you’re feeling down, so that you’ll try again. Keep showing up, and you’re on the right track to a business you’re proud of.
If you want some support and accountability for getting confident and visible so that you can grow your business, grab Christine’s free workbook, Top 5 Things To Do To Get Your First Or Next Client, and connect with her in her private Facebook community, Life With Passion Society.