The Tuesday Night Massacre story (broadcast in heaven no doubt by Archibald Cox News) took us all by surprise initially. Here in New York City, people literally stopped in their slack-jawed tracks and instant conversations among complete strangers broke out in an effort to make sense out of the obvious. Everyone looked as shocked and bewildered as Phan Thi Kim Phuc, the now-famous naked little Vietnamese Napalmed girl.
What we were so shocked at is not that it happened but the fact that Trump actually thinks we are stupid enough to buy his fake news reason for firing James Comey.
You would think that Trump would have mastered the art of lying by now. I mean, that is what he does pathologically, all the time.
But there is no art in his deal. There never was. There never will be.
Let’s just state the obvious. After Director Comey’s announcement on March 20th that he was basically on to Trump and his band of brothers’ endless colluding ties with the Russians, he was officially toast. After Sally Yates went to the White House to give them a heads up warning: she was toast. Preset Bharara? Toast.
The Tuesday Night Massacre had absolutely nothing to do with Trump’s suddenly ― after nine months ― uncontainable need to get back at Comey for the way he dealt with Hillary’s emails. During Sally Yates’ testimony, Ted Cruz inexplicably brought up the emails out of nowhere and while he was publicly dressed down/bitch slapped by one savvy Ms. Yates, Trump’s first job was complete.
There was the email story dragged back out of the attic by Trump/Colbert holster Cruz just hours before all this went down. How fucking convenient.
I guess one dinner at the White House and you must forgive the guy who said your daddy killed JFK and that your wife was a pig. Class act that Cruz, which is why he was booed out of a McDonalds in New York. Washington may pussyfoot around, but we New Yorkers? You can kiss our New York Yankee balls.
As Michael Corleone famously said to Connie’s husband, Carlo, in “Godfather I”: “Now don’t insult my intelligence. Admit what you did.”
But instead of coming to a quick and ignominious end, we are now going to have to deal with “The Gang Who Couldn’t Think Straight” and play out this farce which none of us have a very long fuse for. And it’s going to take forever.
What is most infuriating to me is, just like Steve Bannon on the front lawn of the White House, Trump is publicly urinating on our democracy and we are all going to stand out his spray way and allow it to continue.
If you don’t get the pattern by now, let me catch you up to speed: Your hopelessly Soviet-linked Apprensident does exactly what he did on his reality show: He hires and he fires. He is a one trick phony.
That’s it, folks. There ain’t that no more fur to that cat. What you saw on TV is what you are getting in real life.
Ah, but it’s even worse.
Because between Mike Flynn, Paul Manafort and the inexplicably stupid Carter Page, USSR’s got to be kidding.
I repeat this often and loud: Lenin famously said that in order to succeed you need a willing fool. Bannon’s first fool was Sarah Palin and that imploded like a North Korean missile launch. Next onto the pad was his personal savior: the master of the cover-up (which in this case was a slathering of orange fake tan).
He found the perfect bimbo; the perfect dumb, bleached blonde.
Trump is nothing more than an ADHD child who has been promised an unlimited pass to Disneyland, D.C.
He was told: you go play president and sign pieces of paper that you haven’t read and in return, you and your children ― Connie, Sonny, and Fredo ― can turn the United States of America and the rest of the world into your own personal olive oil import/export business.
It’s that simple, folks. This is all Steve Bannon all the time. He is who you should be raging at.
Now don’t get me wrong. There is plenty to despise about Trump. He is immoral. He is unethical. He loathes women, intelligence, and any sentence that has more than three words. He flaunts his lack of education, pretending that he’s just like the average Joe who don’t cater much to them fancy dentists or wisdom. In fact, he thinks so little of education that he actually started his own pretend “University” and continually lies about his achievements at Wharton.
He is a preposterous, anti-social moron who has captivated the world with his abhorrent behavior for the very same reason that the French of the past embraced Jerry Lewis. They were just fascinated at how a grown man could possibly act like that.
The French of today have already shown us how far they’ve come. Hey Trump: That is an actual marriage.
The thing that galls me is that Trump thinks we will all buy this heaping shovel of bullshit. Now last night, on Post-firing Twitter, a few of his ardent followers, in between spittin’ into the spittoon, took the stance that the Democrats were being two-faced as they wanted Comey fired months ago. Well that is partially true: Director Comey fucked up and because of his action, Trump was elected.
But here we are nine months later ― long after Trump publicly praised Comey specifically for his anti-Hillary help.
You know how this all went down.
Trump called in Beauregard Sessions and said: “They are on to us! Quick! Make up a list of reasons for firing Comey now!” And since Sessions has recused himself from both the Russian inquiry (because he lied before members of Congress about his own contact with the Soviets) and the investigation into Hillary Clinton, the best that he could up with, clever boy, was: let’s fire him because of the way he handled Hillary. Uh, what? How can you recommend that if you have recused yourself from that particular scenario?
Because Sessions is a fucking sycophantic idiot.
Other possibilities on his list no-doubt included: Fire him because he is too tall. Fire him because of the way he smiles at fairy boys. Fire him because he just plain ain’t no good ol’ boy. Fire him because it’s Tuesday.
And the one that they considered to the very end:
Fire him because we can. Legally.
The people to get angry at are the people who continue to sanction this preposterous insult to our national intelligence. Last night, all the members of the GOPhuck Yourselves gathered in one giant circle jerk of self-satisfaction and toed the company line which no doubt felt like, quite literally, the second coming.
Shame on them.
Shame on anyone who keeps disgracing our country. Shame on all these treasonous, seditionist motherfuckers like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell. Shame on all these pandering fake Christians who are sitting around, chewin’ jaw while Rome burns and children get slaughtered by the dozens, year after year ― not by Mexicans, or Muslims, or Jews, but by other White Christian automatic weapon assassins.
And ask yourself this: Why would anyone who is innocent feel threatened by an impartial independent investigation?
In the meantime, go on: sit idly by and keep letting this all happen.
You would pitch a fit if your gardeners mistreated your precious bushes or if your precious Internet went out.
To this writer, that makes you all fucking weak-willed accomplices.
I for one will continue, as I do, day after day after day, punching, attacking, belittling and most importantly speaking my truth.
It is time to take to the streets, anti-Nixon style. It is time to radicalize and organize.
Or you can just stay home and watch Kitty Genovese gets knifed to death, over and over again, from behind the cheap curtains of your own impassivity and cowardice.
I am sick and fucking tired of this useless, empty Kanye West Wing House.
Fuck them all.
Take. Them. Down.
Now.