WEDDINGS
05/12/2016 05:14 pm ET

This Is By Far The Rudest Thing Newlyweds Could Ask Of A Guest

This is never, ever okay. 🙅

Oh, no she didn't!

A story has been circulating around the Internet this week about an ungrateful bride who reportedly emailed one of her guests after the wedding to express her dissatisfaction with gift the guest had given.

On Friday, an anonymous user by the name of Puzzledandpissedoff took to the online discussion forum Mumsnet to share her story and solicit advice on how to respond. According to the post, the newlyweds had requested cash gifts, so the guest -- a former colleague of the bride -- sent a £100 check, roughly equivalent to $145. 

"For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this," the guest wrote. 

Puzzledandpisssedoff's post, in part, reads:

"Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said, 'We were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.'" 

The guest wrote that she was "utterly gobsmacked" by the email and assumes "your own position" refers a recent inheritance she came into. Hundreds of other users responded to the post in dismay, and urged her to cancel the check, which she said later said had already been cashed.

"It's unlikely I'll bump into the [bride and groom] much in future as I'm retired now, which is probably just as well," Puzzledandpissedoff added. "However I've just replied to her email with one sentence: 'I assume this was some sort of mistake?'" 

We turned to Wedding Papers Divas‘ resident etiquette expert Amber Harrison to get her take on this situation and others like it

"This appalling and inappropriate incident is obviously a sign that some couples might need a refresher in gratitude and graciousness," she told The Huffington Post.

Harrison added that while modern wedding registries such as Honeyfund are totally appropriate, requesting cash outright is not. And no matter the quantity or quality of the gift, every present should be accepted with thanks and grace. 

"My husband and I received some very odd and some obviously used wedding gifts, and while we had a good laugh (in private!), every gift-giver received nothing but an honest and genuine note of thanks," she said. 

So how would Harrison respond if she were on the receiving end of one of these emails?

"The easiest option would be to avoid responding altogether," she suggested.
"If you feel inclined to respond and want to keep the relationship intact, here’s a quick suggestion you can try. Keep in mind, less is more here."

It was a pleasure to attend your wedding, thank you for including me in your celebration.

As for the gift, I offered what I believed to be a generous and appropriate amount. Hopefully you will find a way to put it to good use.

Best wishes,  

*Drops mic* 

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