Arizona Congressman Trent Franks, author of the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, went to college for about year, when he was 32. It's unclear whether he studied embryology or not. You don't need a fancy college degree to be a congressperson, but human nature being what it is, I'm guessing the 95 percent of congresspeople who do give the 5 percent who don't a pretty high-quality razzing. Maybe that's why Trent Franks feels such a deep and passionate affinity for the defenseless.
Or maybe he's just one of those childless adult men who thinks about children all the time. I mean, constantly. You know, like Jesus, or Geppeto, or Peter Lorre in "M."
I'm not being fair. Trent Franks and his wife Josie have two lovely children, conceived through in vitro fertilization, carried by a surrogate, and legally transferred by a notary in Tucson, just like it says to do in the Song of Songs.
If you're thinking: "Hey, hold the phone, if Trent Franks hates abortion so much, why didn't he get a baby from a raped teenager instead of a lab?" he's way ahead of you:
"We made three efforts to adopt babies from mothers in crisis pregnancy who had chosen to give their child life rather than to abort. However, each time the mother understandably became so bonded to her child during the pregnancy that she decided to keep her baby rather than follow through with the adoption."
Which is why he had to go the other route. Nothing hypocritical about it at all. The three babies in America were taken.
And before you say, "Whoa there big fella, doesn't in vitro fertilization involve destroying embryos?" Trent Franks thought of that too:
... a trusted friend told us of a medical organization that would allow us to pursue a surrogacy effort where a limited number of eggs would be fertilized and no embryos would be discarded.
Well, as long as it's just "a limited number of eggs," I guess that's okay. Trent Franks can spend his entire political life trying to criminalize abortion by any means necessary, and his weekends masturbating into a shot glass while thinking about his love for all God's children.
Except.
Trent Franks' website says that the congressman believes:
"Human life commences with fertilization, cloning, or its functional equivalent."
And he also cosponsored the Life At Conception Act, that says:
"the right to life guaranteed by the constitution is vested in each human being"
And defines a human being as:
"... species homo sapiens at all stages of life, including, but not limited to, the moment of fertilization..."
Obviously there's nothing wrong with in vitro fertilization. But let's follow Franks' logic.
If fertilized eggs are human lives, then Trent Franks and his wife went to a clinic and paid to have their babies aborted -- kind of an "abortion clinic" -- just when the pre-humans were at their tiniest and most helpless, practically still oven-fresh from their executioners' gonads.
Just a limited number, of course.
How many unborn babies can Trent Franks murder and still be a nice person?