For those who wanted to re-savor NBC’s Lester Holt’s interview with Donald Trump, Alec Baldwin provided a second oh-so-delicious chance in the cold open for “Saturday Night Live.” Only this time, it was an even more distilled essence of the president.
“Thank you for having me here, jazz man,” Baldwin’s Trump tell’s Michael Che’s Lester Holt (also called Tupac, O.J. and Kenan by the “president”). “Well, first all I can just say is, I won the election fair and square, everyone knows that!”
“I fired him because of Russia,” Baldwin admits. “I thought, ‘He’s investigating Russia. I don’t like that. I should fire him.’”
“You’re admitting that? But that’s obstruction of justice,” Che responds, asking the audience gleefully: “Did I get him? Is this all over?”
Then he hears from a manager through his earpiece: ”No I didn’t?” he asks. “Nothing matters? Absolutely nothing matters anymore?”
After a two-scoop ice cream treat from bubbly ice-cream man Paul Ryan (”beat it, nerd,” Baldwin tells him), Trump denies that he is anything like Richard Nixon. But differences fade when he mimics Nixon’s two-handed victory gesture as Trump emphasizes his two scoops of ice cream.
Trump pats himself on the back for “letting Kellyanne out of the crypt” last week and concedes he might be a “serial tape-ist.” He also has an interesting definition for “priming the pump” before Melania comes to bed — to which Holt responds: “Ew.”
But getting back to reality TV, Holt asks Trump to promise he won’t pick someone “crazy like Judge Judy” to replace Comey.
Baldwin answers: “I can promise you this right now, whoever I chose is going to be so bonkers you’re going to wish like hell it was Judge Judy.”
“Your presidency is like the craziest show on TV,” Che tells him.
“The show is going to run for eight years — even though it should have been canceled months ago,” Baldwin concedes. “We have plenty of fun plot twists coming up. A lot of your favorite characters will be coming back ... Kim Jong un, Carter Page ... I don’t want to give away too much, but in an upcoming episode we will find out that Kellyanne has been dead this whole time.”
“Holt wraps up: “On behalf of everyone, I just want to say I can’t believe you’re president.”