Winter break may be a fun and carefree time for kids, but for parents, it can feel never-ending.
At least Twitter offers a place to lament and find humor in the chaos. Here are 35 funny tweets from parents about winter break struggles. If you’re counting down the days until school starts again, these will probably resonate.
On the 6th day of Winter Break my children gave to me: 6 broken objects, 5 untouched plates of food, 4 sibling fights, 3 irrational arguments, 2 bouts with high blood pressure, and one massive headache.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) December 28, 2017
I'm just a mom on winter break, standing in front of my kids' school asking, "HOW BIG OF A CHECK DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR YOU TO RE-OPEN?"
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) January 2, 2018
Reminder: it's called winter break because it breaks a parent's will to live.
— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) January 3, 2016
Winter Break Day 16: Candy canes were eaten for breakfast. Coffee no longer working. Electronics became sentient & are raising the children.
— Ashnog ⚪️ (@adult_mom) January 1, 2017
The Soundtrack of Winter Break
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) January 2, 2016
1."Shrieking"
2."Crying"
3."Thump, Crash, Bang"
4."Rustling of Chocolate Wrappers"
5."GlubGlubGlub of Wine"
Bought beer, hard cider & 3 bottles of wine.
— Sara (@smilely_gal) December 23, 2015
Cashier: "you must be having a party!"
Me: "Nope, my kids started winter break today"
Today is the "I don't care if you guys sit and play Xbox all day as long as you don't fight"th day of winter break.
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) February 18, 2016
"Children hibernate at some point in the winter, right?"
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) December 23, 2016
-parents over Christmas break.
Fun fact: It's called winter break,because by the end of it,nearly everything in the house will be broken...including Mommy. *eye twitches*
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) December 21, 2016
Sometimes we get those rare shining moments when everything is perfect and other times our kids are on winter break.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) December 20, 2016
Winter Break as a parent is a lot like Spring Break when you're single and childless. A bunch of naked people shouting and demanding drinks.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 17, 2016
Winter break: Day 9
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) December 31, 2017
Currently debating what a unicorn with wings is called vs. what a horse with wings is called.
"JESUS CHRIST LEAVE THE DOG'S ASS ALONE"
— Valerie 🎄🤶🏻 (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2016
-me, absolutely fuckin done with winter break
Day 12 of winter break. An 11pm bedtime is TOTALLY normal, right? Asking for a friend.
— Julianna Miner (@mommylandrants) January 2, 2014
Is there a secret winter break contest going on to see which kid can make the most dirty laundry?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 30, 2016
Winter break, day 580: I'm not even pretending to limit screen time. Here, gaze slack-jawed at the iPad for EIGHT SOLID HOURS.
— Linda (@Sundry) January 2, 2014
Parkour was invented in the living rooms of midwesterners when children were stuck indoors for too long during the cold winter break.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 27, 2017
The hardest part of winter break is remembering to feed my kids meals all day.
— Mommy, for real. (@MommyisForReal) December 26, 2017
I just complimented my daughter on how cute she made the pile of laundry with its mountain like peak at the top. [Winter Break: Day 6] pic.twitter.com/rhpLFywTaS
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) December 29, 2017
*First day of winter break*
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) December 22, 2017
8am: Ok, kids. This is gonna be so fun. Late bedtime tonight!
5pm: That's it. Everyone's going to bed an hour early.
Winter break has taught me that the word break is completely misused.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) December 29, 2016
Winter Break in parent language is pronounced: oh-fuh-k
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) December 24, 2018
Winter Break Day 6: My kids are cutting classmates' heads out of their yearbooks and putting them on different bodies.
— Valerie 🎄🤶🏻 (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2016
It's the first day of winter break, the first day I don't have to make lunches, and my 5yo asks for a sandwich for breakfast.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) December 21, 2017
Day one of my kids' winter break and I already feel like I've been awake for 1000 straight hours, so these next 2 1/2 weeks should be fine.
— Ashnog ⚪️ (@adult_mom) December 17, 2016
Welcome to winter break! Your kid will smell like white glue, corn starch, conditioner, Borax, dish soap, glitter glue, food coloring and baby powder until further notice.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) December 28, 2017
Since my daughter’s Elf on a Shelf left with Santa she went from waking up at 7am during winter break to 7:01am
— Z🎄CK (@Mr_Kapowski) December 27, 2017
The difference between being a parent and a kid is the level of excitement with which we view the start of school after winter break
— The Walking Dad (@RealDMK) January 2, 2014
One day I’ll miss my kids, the lazy days of winter break, and even the sounds of them fighting over nothing.
— Experienced Bad Mom (@ExperBadMom) December 30, 2017
Today is not that day.
I'm homeschooling my kids this winter break.
— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) December 22, 2017
The course is called: I bought some Microwaved foods, make yourself Lunch. pic.twitter.com/wgX1g4KYqa
One kid saved up a poop for while the other was taking a bath so they could "ruin it with the poop smell" & plz god make winter break end.
— Valerie 🎄🤶🏻 (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2016
[Every day of Winter Break]
— ☃️❄️🎄Tim🎄❄️☃️ (@Playing_Dad) January 2, 2018
My 9 yo: *wakes up at 6am* GOOD MORNING WHAT ARE WE DOING TODAY WHO'S UP FAM
[Jan 2, First Day Back To School]
My 9yo @ 8am: pic.twitter.com/FugMn8Hwaw
Winter break ends tomorrow so my kids can no longer live in pajamas.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 8, 2017
This is bad news for my already overwhelming laundry situation.
"I wish my kid's winter break would never end!" -- No Parent Ever
— Dude of the House (@DudeOfTheHouse) January 5, 2015
My kids’ school: The first day back from winter break is canceled due to snowy weather.
— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) January 8, 2018
Me, curled up in the fetal position: What did I do to deserve this?
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