On Labor Day, Rob Lowe was the guest of honor for Comedy Central’s latest roast, skewered by a motley crew of famous, well-liked celebrities and also Ann Coulter.
Every year, longtime Comedy Central roast writer Jesse Joyce, tweets out his favorite unused roast jokes. There are some gems in here.
Rob Lowe has fucked more nannies and housekeepers than Donald Trump’s immigration plan. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
This roast is being broadcast on Labor Day because after tonight America will have to put away its whites for a long time. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Rob Lowe has aged so much better than the rest of the Brat Pack… or that painting of himself in his attic #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Everyone remembers where they were the first time they heard one of Jewel’s songs. The waiting room of a dermatologist’s office. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Jewel's from Alaska, the most sparsely populated state, so her concert attendance numbers make her feel right at home #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Jimmy Carr looks like he hosts a game show called Who Wants To Marry a Predator? #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
The Manning family has 3 NFL quarterbacks. Just imagine for a second... how many typos are in that Christmas letter. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
This event every year is like the super bowl of roasts… so there’s a 50/50 shot Peyton Manning will blow it. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Ralph Macchio learned so much during Karate Kid. Skills he uses to this day at his current job, painting fences and waxing cars #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Ralph Macchio named his eldest son "Daniel" after his character from Karate Kid. And his youngest son “That's Pretty Much It” #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Ann Coulter has been sitting up here all night trying to figure out a way to deport Ralph Macchio. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
You might not know this, but before she was FoxNews’s Ann Coulter, she was Bram Stoker’s Ann Coulter. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Jeff Ross has become a fixture at these roasts. Like a bathtub or a furnace or anything else too heavy to just throw out #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
Anytime Rob's in public women throw themselves at him. When Jeff Ross is in public women throw themselves at delivery trucks. #LoweRoast
— Jesse Joyce (@jessejoyce) September 6, 2016
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