Wanna Feel Good? Love More, and Hate Less

08/13/2017 12:02 pm ET Updated Aug 13, 2017
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If I had to leave this world today, the one thing I would impart to my daughters would be to hate less, and love more. It takes too much time to have feelings of disdain toward another when I don't believe we are truly set up that way. Whatever or whoever created human life didn't do it to breed hate. Sure there are times in our lives that someone has lied to us, and cheated on us, and maybe even mentally and physically abused us. Sure there have been times when it warranted feelings of distrust and aversion, and you want to hate. But should you? Should you waste your energy on the next man or woman in a malicious way? If we spent as much time on love as we do on hate, where would we be?

I say humans weren't created that way in a thoughtful and purposeful manner. I don't adhere to any organized religion; my religion is within. Spiritually, I am certain that our brains, and hearts, and stomachs are here to operate our bodies and to guide us in decision-making. How does your head feel when you speak ill of another? I'd ponder that headaches ensue with the unwanted stress you allowed yourself to endure. How does your heart feel when you've been duped or broken up with? I'd say the quenching in your chest is quite uncomfortable. How does your stomach handle it when you witness a violent crime, or when you have mentally hurt a person and you're awaiting the outcome? We all know the sick feeling that looms in our very gut.

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My oldest girl woke up as I was writing this.. Awesome. It was the perfect opportunity to tell her what had been on my mind. She is about to go to kindergarten. My little girl's world is about to change. She is but 5 in years; I don't sugarcoat much, yet I try to put it in terms for her understanding.

I asked her, “Z, do you know what hate is?”

“It's when you don't like something.”

I replied, “is it just when you don't like something?”

She seemed confused, then, “Mom, it's not only when you don't like something, but you really, really don't like it.”

I laughed, “yes, it's when you really, really don't like it. Have you ever hated anything? Have you ever hated anyone?”

Z, shocked, “No! I love my friends! The only thing I kinda hate is chewing gum under the table.”

I hugged her, so tight, and tears sprang from my eyes, “good girl, baby. We love. We love all people. Even if we have to love them from afar, so we stay safe. Sometimes, it is too much to show everyone, direct love. Even if they are mean and hurtful, someone can love them. As long as you know that all humans and animals and trees need love, your body will feel good all the time. We want to make sure our body feels good, we want to protect our brains and hearts and stomachs. So make sure the energy you have in your body is used to love more and try not to hate. Hate takes too much space.”

She stared at me, her big, brown eyes dampening, “Mommy, does someone hate you?”

I laughed, “Maybe, but we aren't concerned with them. We are only concerned with staying true to our bodies. It hurts to hate. It feels awesome to love.”

Z, “you're right, mom. I'm gonna love all the people in my class so I can feel good!”

She listened to me. Even with the turmoil in this world, I am more at ease with my soul. My girls will love more and hate less, and I will remind them and me of this tenet every chance I get. This was a lesson for both of us.

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