Ways to Accept a Compliment as a Normal, Well-Adjusted Human

02/04/2017 05:19 pm ET
  • Immediately return the compliment, even if it sounds forced.
  • Say thank you and then worry for an hour if you came off as arrogant.
  • Awkwardly mumble, “oh, gosh, um, wow, ok.” This works best if you are Hugh Grant.
  • Kiss the person fully on the lips and then sashay away. This works best if they are Hugh Grant.
  • Pretend like you suddenly lost your ability to hear. Cry, probably.
  • Yell “NO!” and ruthlessly tear them down for daring to think you were even remotely a good person.
  • Do a slow smile. It will terrify them.
  • Give a nervous chuckle, followed up with the offer to show them photos of your new pet lizard. It is oddly dressed up like a human child.
  • Start commenting very loudly about the weather to divert attention because it’s weird to have the focus on you, whereas talking intensely about the weather is very normal.
  • Hide your face in your hair.
  • Hide your whole body in the potato sack that you always carry with you.
  • Say: “Aw, shucks! Thank you!” Do this casually.
  • Stitch the words “Aw, shucks!” onto a potato sack, then pull it over your head. Note: It is best to have this pre-stitched, rather than commencing the stitching upon receiving the compliment.
  • If the compliment was delivered via Facebook, unfriend them and delete your account.
  • Move to a new country, but delete your Facebook account anyway because social media is a timesuck.
  • Take out your lizard child and stroke and murmur to him gently about the weather so that the person does not wish to interact with you, let alone compliment you ever again.
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