We Didn't Come Here To Fucking Play Small

It can be painful to acknowledge the illusions we’ve believed as truth in our sleepwalking slumber. It can be hard to wake up and take responsibility for our own shit, and see the part that we’ve each played in perpetuating the lies, the programming and the conditioning to stay asleep.

It can push us to the very edge of our comfort zone, to be honest and brave enough to acknowledge that we’ve unknowingly buried our heads in the sand to stay unconscious, so as not to have to face the truth of who we really are and the enormity of what we came to this planet to do and be.

Why do we choose to stay asleep and ignore the truth of who we truly are?

This is what we are taught. The fear of being rejected is programmed into our very survival. We conform to be safe, to fit in, to succeed — we learn to stifle our truth so as not to make other people feel uncomfortable, and so that we won’t feel uncomfortable either.

I have news for you...

Awakening to truth is not always fucking comfortable or pretty. It’s messy, it’s jarring, it’s disruptive, and it can be downright brutal.

I was not born to fucking play small, and neither were you.

I didn’t come here to please your personality self by sugar coating my message or downplaying my truth. I came here to speak directly to your soul, by expressing my authentic truth, and shaking things up, to wake you up. And sometimes this ruffles feathers and upsets the apple cart.

Yet I haven’t always spoken my truth so boldly.

I learned to be a people pleaser. To shut myself down. To play small.

I learned to be who I believed other people needed me to be.

I allowed the judgments and opinions of strangers to influence the way I felt about myself and in such, how I expressed myself. I agreed to the lies and gave my power away. I danced around the truth, dimmed my light, and silenced my voice, so that you would like me.

I believed the lies that said I am only worthy if: I am pretty, a size 2, a good girl, a pleaser, a rule follower, an ass kisser, someone who always says and does all the right things, someone who looks and sounds a certain prescribed way.

I judged myself. I judged my body. I judged other people.

I bought into the social program that says “you need to be perfect to be okay”. I bought into the fear-based social conditioning that says, “don’t shine too brightly”, so as not to piss other people off.

And because this was so unaligned with my truth, at times I was harsh and brutal in my delivery of attempting to assert my power while feeling suppressed and judged and misunderstood. Other times, I censored myself and held back authentic parts of me out of fear. I was stuck between my desire to be liked, and my anger at feeling completely stifled by a system that was killing me.

Until one day, I woke the fuck up and saw how this program was sucking the very life out of me. It was siphoning the energy from my soul. I could not bear it for one moment longer, and I knew, it was time to break free.

The more authentic we are, the brighter we shine, the more we illuminate the shadows in others.

The more light we hold, the more truth we shed on the world around us, exposing the illusions that are hidden in the darkness.

This makes some people very uncomfortable. Because what lurks in the shadows is there for a reason; it does not want to be seen and exposed for the lie that it is. Waking up and facing the truth of what lives in the darkness, shakes up the status quo and stirs shit up. This is not always fun nor pretty to witness or experience.

However, I didn’t come here to fucking play small. And neither did you.

We didn’t come here to dance around the truth censoring ourselves, pretending to be something or someone we are not.

We came here to shine brightly. To encourage other people to shine brightly as well.

We came here to connect and to experience the fullness of being our true authentic selves.

We came here to love fiercely, to live authentically, and to be exactly who we fucking are at our core.

We came here to be authentic, however unique or awkward that may be. We came here to be silly, to be a nerd, to be a dork, to geek out — to embrace all the divine aspects of ourself fully.

We came here to wake up to the truth of who we really are, to dismantle our ego — the programming that keeps us separate and angry and in constant competition with each other — and to rock our divine, badass, beautiful, messy, opinionated, sassy, brash, bold, and fierce selves. We came here to be free.

We did not come here to be afraid of our emotions or to constantly judge them. We did not come here to be stuck in a continuous competition or battle with each other over whose opinions are correct. We did not come here to stay asleep and become a complacent homogeneous herd of sheep.

We came here to wake up and remember who we really are, and in this, to experience a spectrum of emotions and experiences, and to authentically express ourselves from the depths of our soul.

We came here to drop our egos, to connect with each other, to be real, and to share our unique voices with the world. This includes sharing our vulnerability, our pain, our love, our sadness, our joy. Without judgment, our emotions become our teachers. They enrich us, allowing us to experience the contrast, the gift, of being in physical form.

We came to remember that we all come from the same source, and in this, we are all connected by the same energetic thread, the same glowing divine light, the same consciousness that is woven through everything on the entire planet.

You didn’t come here to fucking play small. So wake up and start being your true authentic self.

Not your angry ego self, not your programming, not your social conditioning, but the truth of who you really are underneath all the illusions, all the lies, all the garbage you’ve believed.

The world needs you to claim your power now. It’s time to fucking shine. It’s time to illuminate the landscape around you. It’s time to show the planet how incredibly powerful, beautiful, and strong your spirit is, to unapologetically express your authentic truth, and to honor the divinity of your exquisite sparkling soul.

Because we didn't come here to fucking play small, we came here to be authentic, and to fucking shine.

This is all part of what I call, The Alchemy of Awakening.

Diana is a Writer, Psychotherapist, and Emotional Wellness Coach. She sees coaching clients worldwide, via Skype and phone.

You can connect with Diana on Facebook.

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
CONVERSATIONS