WEIRD NEWS
12/09/2015 01:24 pm ET

These Holiday Gag Gifts Will Actually Make You Gag

HuffPost Weird News know what the oddball you love wants.

It's the most wonderful time of the year -- even if you're a bit weird.

Manufacturers and entrepreneurs have spent the last 11 months figuring out exactly what kind of gifts and products will appeal to kooks, nutjobs, screwballs and weirdos.

People just like you.

HuffPost Weird News has also been hard at work almost as long, narrowing down the many bizarre and wacky items available to a select few.

Whether it's ugly sweaters, bizarre Bigfoot gifts, or strange gadgets, there is something for every weirdo in your life.

 

  • 3D Plush Sweater
    Grandma got run over by a reindeer? Child's play. Wait until you relate the gripping story of how <a href="http://www.uglychr
    UglyChristmasSweater.com
    Grandma got run over by a reindeer? Child's play. Wait until you relate the gripping story of how a reindeer ran into you on the way to this Christmas party. I smell a winning sweater. Wait, I think I'm smelling something stinkier. ($67.95, UglyChristmasSweater.com)
  • Gift-wrapped Holiday Suit
    As fun as ugly Christmas sweaters are, they aren't appropriate at every holiday function. This <a href="http://www.halloweenc
    HalloweenCostumes.com
    As fun as ugly Christmas sweaters are, they aren't appropriate at every holiday function. This gift-wrapped suit is a festive, but dressy outfit to wear at fancy holiday parties. It also is loud enough to ensure you're seen in traffic if you're walking down a dark road at night, so it has that going for it. ($99.99, HalloweenCostumes.com)
  • Chrome Handled Gun Mug
    Here's the deal: This <a href="http://www.stupid.com/the-gun-mug-chrome-handle.html" target="_blank">gun-themed coffee mug </
    Stupid.com
    Here's the deal: This gun-themed coffee mug is not for everyone. But if you give it to someone who doesn't like it, you can tell them, "Hey, it was worth a shot." ($9.99, Stupid.com)
  • Bigfoot Garden Statue
    Garden gnomes are so passe, especially when your garden can have a <a href="http://store.discovery.com/large-bigfoot-garden-s
    Discovery.com
    Garden gnomes are so passe, especially when your garden can have a Sasquatch statue near the roses. It's not as a big as a real Bigfoot, but, thankfully, it's not as smelly, either. ($156.95, Discovery Channel Store)
  • Potty Piano
    Singing in the shower? Bah! Playing piano on the potty? Now that's special. Learn to play "Jingle Bells" on this <a href="htt
    TheGiftsForMen.com
    Singing in the shower? Bah! Playing piano on the potty? Now that's special. Learn to play "Jingle Bells" on this 13-note keyboard and you will be a whiz to be reckoned with. Luckily it's battery-operated so you won't get electrocuted if you accidentally leak on the keyboard. ($39.99, Thegiftsformen.com)
  • The Cat Ball
    <a href="http://www.thecatball.com/collections/special-edition/products/great-white-shark-cat-ball-kitty-cave-bed" target="_b
    TheCatBall.com
    The Cat Ball serves two functions: It's a place for your lazy cat to while away some of the 20 hours it spends sleeping, and it's a way to teach kids about the food chain. ($99, TheCatBall.com)
  • "Personalized" David Hasselhoff Autographed Poster
    Want to get your loved ones a big gift of cheese that doesn't need refrigeration? This "personalized" <a href="https://www.st
    Stargifts.com
    Want to get your loved ones a big gift of cheese that doesn't need refrigeration? This "personalized" David Hasselhoff autographed poster is just the ticket. The term "personalized" is in quotes because the "Baywatch" bohunk is not actually in a room signing these pics. A machine duplicates his autograph. However, that means you can have "David" write anything you want. Anything. Boggles the mind, don't it? ($19.95, StarGifts.com)
  • Krampus Christmas Demon Costume
    Santa Claus has a better press agent, but the <a href="http://www.halloweencostumes.com/adult-krampus-the-christmas-demon-cos
    HalloweenCostumes.com
    Santa Claus has a better press agent, but the Krampus is also a popular Christmas tradition in countries that speak German. The idea is that he punishes kids who've been very naughty. Certainly, a costume like this will win hands down over any sweater at the holiday part. Even better: since the Krampus is supposed to punish the naughty, you can use this to your advantage, if you get my drift. ($84.99, HalloweenCostumes.com)
  • Portrait Of Darth Vader Sipping Tea Amongst The Flowers
    Looking for a portrait that will brighten any wall in the house? This portrait of<a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/243430
    Etsy.com
    Looking for a portrait that will brighten any wall in the house? This portrait of Darth Vader sipping tea amongst flowers certainly fills that need. "Luke, I am your father. Pass the cream, please." ($25, Etsy.com)
  • Gold-Plated Mako Shark Jaw
    If one of your relatives is a member of the One Percent, than you really need to go all out to get something special, somethi
    http://www.swgrgallery.com/artists/
    If one of your relatives is a member of the One Percent, than you really need to go all out to get something special, something they'd never buy for themselves. Something NO ONE would buy for themselves. That means a gold-plated mako shark jaw, which is a steal at $10,000 (although it's unlikely anyone would want to steal it). ($10,000, SWGRgallery.com)
  • Santa's Not Real Sweatshirt
    Even buzz-killing bastards like to get in the Christmas spirit. Actually, they don't. That's why they are buzz-killing bastar
    DentzDenim.com
    Even buzz-killing bastards like to get in the Christmas spirit. Actually, they don't. That's why they are buzz-killing bastards. Still, this dark, depressing sweatshirt is a subtle way of ruining Christmas for young and old alike. ($24, DentzDenim.com)
  • Nice And Naughty Two-Person Sweater
    Couples looking for a way to share their holiday spirit could do worse than this <a href="http://www.tipsyelves.com/two-perso
    TipsyElves.com
    Couples looking for a way to share their holiday spirit could do worse than this two-person sweater. The problem comes when the couple can't decide who is naughty and who is nice. ($89.95, TipsyElves.com)
  • Decorative Santa In The Out
    Santa is usually depicted on a sleigh or near a Christmas tree, but if he's like most men after the age of 50, he probably sp
    Menards.com
    Santa is usually depicted on a sleigh or near a Christmas tree, but if he's like most men after the age of 50, he probably spends a substantial amount of time on the john. This statue honors Mr. Claus by depicting him in an outhouse. Jolly old elf, indeed. ($15.99, Menards.com)
  • Alien Socks
    If you're going to be abducted by aliens, why not do it in style? Certainly, these <a href="http://www.livingroyal.com/produc
    LivingRoyal.com
    If you're going to be abducted by aliens, why not do it in style? Certainly, these knee-high socks are a reason for anyone to phone home about -- even if they're not extraterrestrials. ($15, LivingRoyal.com)
  • Hipster Recreation Of Hobo Sticks
    Everything old is new again and the Bindle is proof. It's basically <a href="http://bindlebros.com" target="_blank">a bandana
    bindlebros.com
    Everything old is new again and the Bindle is proof. It's basically a bandana on a stick much like the ones that are only used by cartoon hobos. The difference is, the Bindle is made by Brooklyn hipsters, so it costs as much as $350. Presumably, the sticks are artisan crafted. Or not. ($89-$350, BindleBros.com)
  • Drinking Game Christmas Sweater
    This ugly Christmas sweater will liven up any party. That is, if you <a href="http://www.tipsyelves.com/mens-drinking-game-ch
    TipsyElves.com
    This ugly Christmas sweater will liven up any party. That is, if you don't mind being pelted with velcro balls. ($89.95, TipsyElves.com)
  • Money Face Mask
    Do you dream of money? Sure you do, but your dreams of wealth can only be better if you're wearing a <a href="http://moneynev
    MoneyNeverSleepz.com
    Do you dream of money? Sure you do, but your dreams of wealth can only be better if you're wearing a face mask filled with cut-up pieces of currency. Not only does it block out the sunlight, but also the reality of your precarious financial situation. ($13.99, MoneyNeverSleepz.com)
  • Slippers That Warm Via A USB Port
    Self-tying sneakers still haven't made it to the mass market, but these are almost as cool: <a href="http://www.modcloth.com/
    ModCloth.com
    Self-tying sneakers still haven't made it to the mass market, but these are almost as cool: Slippers that warm up when attached to a USB port. In the interest of your safety, you really should disconnect the slippers from your computer before walking away. ($39.95, ModCloth.com)
  • Optimus Prime Robe
    Dad will be transformed into something fine when he wears this <a href="http://www.tvstoreonline.com/transformers-optimus-pri
    TVStoreOnline.com
    Dad will be transformed into something fine when he wears this Transformers robe. ($49.95, TVStoreOnline.com)
  • The Toilet Water Dish
    To badly paraphrase Jane Austen: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that dogs love drinking out of the toilet." This ca
    Stupid.com
    To badly paraphrase Jane Austen: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that dogs love drinking out of the toilet." This can lead to a mess for a variety of reasons, plus, it's just gross. The toilet-shaped dog water bowl allows Fido to get his potty water fix in a more socially acceptable manner. ($19.95, Stupid.com)
  • Astronaut Flask
    If being on a spaceship for months at a time isn't a reason to drink, I don't know what is. This <a href="http://www.homewetb
    HomeWetBar.com
    If being on a spaceship for months at a time isn't a reason to drink, I don't know what is. This astronaut-themed flask is a good way for Earthlings to remember that NASA is also the initials for "Nice Alcohol Stupor Asshat." ($39.95, HomeWetBar.com)
  • Clutch Bag That Looks Like A Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
    Purses and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have little in common other than being nouns that begin with the letter "P." Th
    DrunkMall.com
    Purses and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have little in common other than being nouns that begin with the letter "P." This clutch bag that resembles the popular schoolyard lunch goes a small way to reducing that divide. My dream is to see a female celebrity carry this at an awards show. I will probably dream for a long time. ($3.99, FunSlurp.com)
  • Bracelet That Is Really A Flask
    Your fashion-conscious friends will say, "Hmm, nice non-descript bracelet." Your alcoholic buddies will say, "Oh, my God! Tha
    ModCloth.com
    Your fashion-conscious friends will say, "Hmm, nice non-descript bracelet." Your alcoholic buddies will say, "Oh, my God! That's a flask! Hey, look! She's got a flask on her hand! Oh, I need a drink. Can I take a sip? Please? Please? Seriously." You should be warned: It only holds barely a shot so you may want to wear a bunch of them and say you're doing a retro-Cyndi Lauper Madonna thing." ($39.99, ModCloth.com)
  • Male Stripper Wine Bottle Holder
    Surely, you've thought, "I wish my <a href="http://www.alwaysfits.com/index.php/all/uncork-me-wine-bottle-holder.html" target
    AlwaysFits.com
    Surely, you've thought, "I wish my wine bottle holder was blatantly phallic." We all have, right? Thank goodness for this bottle holder. If I could, I'd thank the creator of it by sticking a dollar in their underwear. ($24.99, AlwaysFits.com)
  • Dirt Of The Month Club
    Picture this: Your loved ones wake up Christmas morning and discover you got them a bag of dirt. Even better: The promise of
    PayDirtGold.com
    Picture this: Your loved ones wake up Christmas morning and discover you got them a bag of dirt. Even better: The promise of more -- another bag of dirt each month for the rest of the year. Yeah, they may hate you, but then you'll point out that there is gold in the bags. They will love you -- until you tell them they have to pan for it. ($39.95-$299.95, PayDirtGold.com)
  • Fragile Leg Lamp Sweater That Lights Up
    Few Christmas movies are as beloved as "A Christmas Story." Some people know the whole movie by heart. And you will meet all
    Ugly Christmas Sweater
    Few Christmas movies are as beloved as "A Christmas Story." Some people know the whole movie by heart. And you will meet all of them when you wear this ugly sweater memorializing one of the movie's scenes. "It's a major award!"  ($65.99, UglyChristmasSweater.com)
  • Bigfoot Kettlebell
    Kettlebells are a great way to build strength, but they lack personality. No one can say that about this one that looks like<
    Onnit.com
    Kettlebells are a great way to build strength, but they lack personality. No one can say that about this one that looks like Bigfoot. It weighs 90 pounds, so you may want to start off with something less intimidating, like the one shaped like a howler monkey. ($204.20, Onnit.com)
  • USS Enterprise Sushi Set
    Sushi: The final frontier? Maybe not, but the person who you give this "<a href="http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f375/?pfm=S
    ThinkGeek.com
    Sushi: The final frontier? Maybe not, but the person who you give this "Star Trek" sushi set will definitely spend the next five years on a mission to find a gift as cool as this. ($34.99, ThinkGeek.com)
  • Stormtrooper Reindeer Sweater
    This year, "Star Wars" and Christmas are closely aligned, thanks to the release of "The Force Awakens." This <a href="http://
    UglyChristmasSweater.com
    This year, "Star Wars" and Christmas are closely aligned, thanks to the release of "The Force Awakens." This ugly sweater combines both holiday traditions in a way that ridicules both. Bravo! ($59.95, UglyChristmasSweater.com)
  • Cheeseburger Ball Gag
    Christmas is all about giving and taking -- just like consensual BDSM. This <a href="http://drunkmall.com/post/131225743511/c
    DrunkMall.com
    Christmas is all about giving and taking -- just like consensual BDSM. This cheeseburger ball gag is a perfect stocking stuffer for that naughty, naughty girl or boy in your life. ($49.95, GorgeOhwell.com)
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