As a married mom of four and an author of a book on motherhood and self-care, one might think that Mother’s Day would be the “motherlode” for me. A day solely devoted to highlighting the amazingness of mothers everywhere and a day that lends itself to shamelessly promoting my book should be my most anticipated day of the year, right?
But it’s not.
Because we are totally missing the mark on Mother’s Day.
In fact, the founder of Mother’s Day herself, Ann Reeves Jarvis, who originally worked tirelessly to have this holiday added to the calendar, ended up fighting until her death to have Mother’s Day removed from the calendar.
Jarvis, an unmarried woman with no children of her own, wished to honor her own mother as well as promote a women-focused holiday. After years of effort, she prompted President Woodrow Wilson to officially add Mother’s Day to the calendar in 1914. However, Reeves soon became so disgusted with the resulting commercialization of the holiday that she ended up personally disowning the holiday and fought for its removal.
A century later, Mother’s Day is one of the biggest holidays for consumer spending in the country (source: history.com).
This Mother’s Day, I teamed up with mother, author, and poet Simi Fromen to bring back the true meaning of Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day by Simi Fromen
To women
who are trying to conceive
and going through infertility…
women who are yet
to have children of their own…
women who miscarried,
adopted and had to leave…
to women
who lost a child
in utero or in this world…
to single moms out there
holding up the fort
while being a woman…
for moms to be…
it is mother’s day for you ALL.
Simi writes:
Being a single mom was challenging for me the first Mother’s day after my divorce. I didn’t have a husband to encourage the kids to do something special for me like making breakfast and letting me sleep in. I also felt a deep sadness from not being in an intact family.
Mother’s Day can evoke many difficult emotions for women—whether it is a loss of a mother, a child, or the hope of a child. Stepmothers can feel underappreciated and grandmothers can feel forgotten.
Wherever you are in your motherhood journey, know that you are important. When I started to change my perspective on Mother’s Day as a day to honor what matters most to me as a mother, I began to ask myself first, and then my children for what I would like. And I settled on two things—sharing love and being present. Spending time with myself and with my children in a loving, joyful, and meaningful way is all I want for Mother’s Day. In fact, it’s mostly all I want every day.
Julie writes:
After nearly 25 years of marriage, 22 of them as parents, you would think my beloved husband would understand that the stress created and the money spent on cards that are overpriced, flowers that I have to care for until they inevitably die, and the chocolates that the kids will end up begging me for does not enhance my Mother’s Day experience. Why doesn’t he know that?
Because I have not told him. Because I was worried about hurting his feelings. Of sounding ungrateful. But wait, if this holiday is truly about honoring mothers, then why are mothers not being clear about how they do and do not want to be honored? Maybe we don’t want to host the whole family for brunch but would rather meet everyone at a park for a picnic lunch where the kids can run around, leaving a trail of sandwich crumbs and juice box droplets and we mothers can sit on a blanket, sipping chardonnay and taking in the joy of motherhood instead of calculating how long it will take to clean up the mess after everyone leaves. Maybe we would rather receive a big hug, an “I’ve got the kids”, and the 30 bucks that our loved one would have spent on a nice card and flowers to go get a manicure or a neck and shoulders chair massage at the mall.
Let’s get Mother’s Day right this year, moms. Let’s start from a place of worthiness, self-love, and self-care and use our voices to declare to ourselves and our loved ones what would make Mother’s Day special for us this year. Let’s honor every mom in Simi’s poem and create a dialogue with each of them. Let’s ask each married mom, single mom, grieving mom, lost mom, want-to-be mom, step-mom, and abandoned mom how she feels on this second Sunday in May. Let’s ask all moms what they need, what they want, and how we can honor and support them on Mother’s Day and every day.
Let’s join forces to make 2017 the year we bring honor and meaning back to mothers on Mother’s Day. Simply add the hashtag #moreloveformom2017 to any of your Mother’s Day wishes and thoughts you share on Twitter and Instagram, and in addition to spreading more love to all moms this Mother’s Day, you will be entered for a chance to win a copy of Julie’s The Self-Care Solution—A Modern Mother’s Guide to Health and Well-Being and Simi’s Ascending Voice. Winner will be announced on Mother’s Day!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you truly amazing mothers! Sending each one of you more love and appreciation this Mother’s Day and every day! #moreloveformom2017
Simi Fromen www.simifromen.com is a mom of three, a writer, a health and wellness coach, a yoga teacher, and a self-love enthusiast.