Some adults and children go all out on Mother's Day. Flowers, candy, jewelry, special clothes, expensive pocket books, unique books--whatever are mothers' favorite things are bought and presented with acclaim.
Some mothers find this very satisfying and in fact, terribly disappointing if something special doesn't come their way. They expect a beautiful card from each child, a gift from their partner, and phone calls from older kids living at a distance.
But is that day so important to all women? What do women want? What do mothers want?
I think that May 8 this year is a reminder of the things mothers do every day and this particular day is a day to say thank you and mean it. Crowded restaurants for mothers' day dinners with squabbling kids and irritated partners don't cut it. Overly expensive gifts may mean a lot to some women, but that carefully crafted poem or thank you note might go a lot further.
Ten Favorite Gift Options for Mothers
1.A thank you for all that maternal nourishment that mother's give. Telling you appreciate how she knows when you need a lift of a special kiss or hug or query about how you're doing.
2.Cleaning the house for your mother so she doesn't have to do it says how much you appreciate it throughout the year.
3.Listening carefully to your mother's thoughts and feelings about anything on her mind for as long as she wants without rushing away or turning on your phone.
4.Giving that special gift that you thought long and hard about because it matches your mother's likes and needs and then spending time with her when you give the present to hear all she has to say about your kindness and empathy for her.
5.If you're a college kid and at a distance, call your mother and spend at least a half hour on the phone asking her what she's been up to. When she, as always, changes the subject to ask about you, go back to asking her about herself so she really knows you care.
6.Give your mother a hug and don't let go until you feel her release. Sometimes mothers like long deep, hugs.
7.When you walk a long or sit by her side, hold her hand and see her face light up.
8.Write her a note reminding her how you feel about her and what you prize about what she's done for you this year.
9.If you're creative, or even if you think you're not, make a picture of how you feel about your mother.
10.Spending time with your mother on Mother's Day without too much fanfare, but showing in your special way how much you love her which may simply mean remembering to say in your most meaningful voice while looking in her eyes, "I love you."
If you're a mother add to this list and don't hesitate to give it to your partner or friend or kid so they know what you really need on Mothers' Day. After all, it's Your Day!!
Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., is a psychoanalyst with a recent book, Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child's Behavior, found on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Familius and wherever books are sold.