For all those college-bound later this month, congratulations! You're going to a place you chose and one that chose you. In today's era of social media, perhaps the same can be said of your college roommate.
This was not the case when I attended college in the 80s. At that time, there was, perhaps, a questionnaire asking likes/dislikes along with interests and major. Somehow, this information garnered a junior art major for this freshman journalism student.
As I recall, my mother departed saying, "Just because she lives with you doesn't mean she is going to be your best friend," referring to my first college roommate. "Try to make the most of it."
I didn't really comprehend all that my mom was saying at the time. Looking back, I'm sure she didn't want me to sense the concern she had especially since I was 13 hours away from home. Her words took on a sharper warning as timed passed with this roommate.
There were a few things to like about my first roommate who shall remain unnamed for always.
1.Her years on campus made for a great guide for this newbie
2.She wasn't really untidy.
What didn't I like about her?
1.She stole my peanut butter, often. I shouldn't say she stole it, because it wasn't under lock and key. But, she ate most of the small jar I afforded myself after a long walk to the 7-Eleven. The convenient store yielded a hefty price compared to the food store. Since I didn't have a car and was on the meal plan I didn't go food shopping. Several times I asked her kindly to replace it. She never did. So, yes, she stole it.
2.She received a lot of late night phone calls from various athletes.
3.She thought the dorms were the Holiday Inn and often wrote "Do Not Disturb" on our wipe board that was on OUR door.
4.Her long blonde hair that fell below her hips appeared everywhere
5.She never received packages or mail. What irked me most about this is that when I did receive a care package from home and/or mail from friends studying elsewhere, she always said, dripping in honey filled sarcasm, "Must be nice."
I guess to sum it all up: I did learn that her lack of consideration was why I no longer wanted to live with her.
Thankfully, I was able to swap her out with another roommate after returning from Winter Break. My second dorm roommate was terrific. She took her studies seriously and to this day is a hard working nurse. I learned from her that if you have a goal nobody should get in the way of it. Clear your path and forge on.
That spring I had joined a sorority. In the fall of my sophomore year, I moved into the sorority house, where I shared a room with three others. I had a total of five roommates over the course of three years. One of my original sorority roommates graduated earlier with a two-year medical administration degree.
A college roommate at the AXO sorority house room
The author with one of her roommates on campus
Here's what I learned from each of them.
1.When you're having a tough time or hit a rough patch, it's copacetic to play Barbara Streisand albums to ease the pain.
2.Reading the Bible at bedtime is spiritually gratifying for one out of four roommates and when shared, a thought provoking conversation is certain to ensue for all.
3.Paying attention to detail is what successful CEO's seek in a top-notch assistant.
4.Being compassionate is a truly admirable trait. It's like receiving a daily hug. No virtual strings attached.
5.Cramming all nighters isn't necessary if you attend class and take good notes all along.
Two of the author's roommates getting ready for the sorority formal
And I need to recognize the girls across the hall and next door (long before the insurance company used it as their slogan). Being good neighbors, they were always there. This was truly comforting since there were times when the inevitable and diabolical homesickness attempted to take me down.
I'm pleased that all of us (including those 'good' neighbors) stay in touch and manage to get together for mini-reunions from time to time. Though their shoulder pads and big hair were left behind with the times, they've all stayed true to what they taught me years ago.
The author with her college roommates and "neighbors" during a recent reunion in New York City
Setting up baseline rules can be helpful.
1.Keep the common area clean
2.Don't infringe on your roommates necessities i.e. toiletries and food included
3.Be considerate when coming and going or bringing others in the room (announce when someone is with you)
4.Keep in mind the "Golden Rule" (also found in the bible), Treat others as you would want them to treat you.
The author during a recent speaking engagement at her alma mater, Marshall University