1. Is she looking at me? Is she looking behind me?
2. Oh, GOD is that my smile? I NEED a new smile. Quick, LESS GUMS.
3. Stop staring. Look away!
4. Should I walk up to her? What do I say? What if she really did stare behind me?!
5. Fly? Check. Buttoned buttons? Check.
6. Breath? NO CHECK. ABORT. ABORT!
7. Armpits? Yeah, OK.
8. Am I walking weird? I'm such a weird walker. What's even my walk? Why am I dragging my left foot?!
9. "Hi." "Hello!" "Howdy, there." "Hey, gorgeous."
10. "Sup?" Is this real life?
11. Maintain eye contact. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
12. Hold up, are we having a conversation?
13. I think we're having a conversation.
14. ABORT! ABORT!
15. I'm going to die alone.
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