COMEDY
09/30/2015 03:59 pm ET Updated Oct 01, 2015

The 15 Anxiety-Ridden Phases Of Hitting On A Girl

Take a deep breath, man.

1. Is she looking at me? Is she looking behind me?

2. Oh, GOD is that my smile? I NEED a new smile. Quick, LESS GUMS.

3. Stop staring. Look away!

4. Should I walk up to her? What do I say? What if she really did stare behind me?!

5. Fly? Check. Buttoned buttons? Check.

6. Breath? NO CHECK. ABORT. ABORT!

7. Armpits? Yeah, OK.

8. Am I walking weird? I'm such a weird walker. What's even my walk? Why am I dragging my left foot?!

9. "Hi." "Hello!" "Howdy, there." "Hey, gorgeous." 

10. "Sup?" Is this real life?

11. Maintain eye contact. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.

12. Hold up, are we having a conversation?

13. I think we're having a conversation.

 

14. ABORT! ABORT!

15. I'm going to die alone.

#fail

Also on HuffPost:

PHOTO GALLERY
Funny Cards For Couples Who Are BFFs
CONVERSATIONS