I returned to work about 5 months after having my baby. She’s 17 months old now and we still haven’t figured out childcare. Prices for quality childminders, nannies and nurseries can make returning to work pointless for many mothers, yet the expectation seems to be that we return after a year. So what to do without childcare or nearby relatives who can help?
Well, some parents work whilst caring for their children, from home or at the office.
But taking your baby to work is unprofessional, impossible, absurd...isn't it?
For me, having my daughter in meetings and at the office means I’m not distracted by constantly checking in and I can focus on the job in hand. Now she’s older it’s more difficult, and if my daughter misses a nap it can be a nightmare! When she was a tiny baby I’d breastfeed through Afrocenchix meetings or she’d nap on my back and sometimes people often didn’t realise she was in the building.
Before returning to work I scoured the web and contacted everyone I could think of for advice but came up empty. Now I recognise that it’s a rare blessing to be able to balance work around being there for my baby – my team are accommodating and being self directed gives me flexibility that many don’t have. But why is that?
For most of us it’s just hard to imagine what we haven’t seen. In the interest of normalising babies at work (where appropriate) I’ve spoken to four other mums who take their children to work with them whilst leading successful careers. They each explain what it’s really like and offer some advice for parents working with babies in tow.
Floor Drees, MD - Sektor 5
“I have no illusion that everyone can bring their offspring to their workplace. We were very fortunate to have (created) a work environment in which it is possible. I brought my son to work about 2 days a week, spread over the week, from when he was 3 months out until about 10 months, when he got a little too mobile. He'd nap in the carrier, play (on the couch next to me) or I'd carry him around. We had one designated room that was definitely not fit for nursing, but did the job.
Our situation was definitely unique, in that we could shape the situation. In the start-up world there's little room for parents. It's all ‘work hard, play hard’ not 'go home and take care of the family hard'. There's craftbeer, Fuseball tables and organic lunches to attract talent, but no perks for parents.
Don’t believe voices that say your career is over after having a child. I answered emails half an hour after giving birth (bad advice!), held workshops with a 2 months old strapped in the carrier and organised and ran conferences in two cities in the same week, with the little one there (and without my partner). I moderated a conference while still breastfeeding and gave talks whilst heavily pregnant. It inspired other parents to bring their kids and push for organisers and companies to accommodate them.”
Carly McNally, Chief Financial and Administrative Officer - Capital Enterprise
“When I was younger I’d imagined that when my time to start a family came, I’d take a break from working life and have a few years at home with my children. However the closer I got to the time where Nathan and I were ready, emotional and financially, to start trying for a baby, I knew that despite my strong desire to be a mum I wasn't yet ready to give up on my career I had spent so many years developing. When I did fall pregnant and started thinking about maternity I decided to only take 3 months of complete maternity leave and then gradually return back to work. I started with just 10 hours a week, then 16 hours, then 21 hours before returning back to full time work when Oli was 9 months old.
I was lucky to be irreplaceable prior to falling pregnant and so I was able to negotiate a very flexible maternity/return to work package . In the early months it was agreed that I would work 10-16 hours a week for the company. This was completely flexible from home and when required I was able to attend meetings with baby in tow. This was very important to me as I practice a form of attachment parenting and breastfed on demand meaning that on many occasions I breastfed during having meetings. At no point did anyone question why I was bring my young baby along with me and most even welcomed it.
I’d love to see more women and men having the opportunity to be able to juggle family life with work life. Whether it is being able to work from home, work more family friendly hours or when required to even have children in the work place - the more people that do it the more it will become the norm.
I have to say I now have a childminder but there are days when I take Oli in to the office and I’m still shocked how many people (we work in a very busy co-working space) are not just fine with having a child in the office, but actually welcome it and say it makes for a much nicer working environment.
If you’re in the same position, talk to you employers about their, you may be shocked how open they are! Also try to work smart, create a good routine and, if you can, work when your child is sleeping or having some down time.”
Mercy Haruna-Okere, Freelance Photographer
“Working whilst parenting is very doable! It’s also really challenging, there will be good as well as bad days but it can work. For me, being able to work around my children’s needs is very important. But it’s also important to be able to deliver on schedule, so I have to be very organised. My TO-DO lists have TO-DO lists! I outsource where I can. For example, every couple of weeks I have someone come and deep clean the house, one less thing on my list. I have to be military-like in my approach whilst also considering that children are unpredictable.
Working for myself makes it possible. Also because I work mostly with families, they don’t mind when I bring my children with me to photoshoots as long as they don’t interfere with the work I’m there to do. Another thing that really helps is having a supportive partner. He comes with me to many shoots and watches the kids while I work. I suppose in place of my partner, if I had an assistant that would work too.
Because of the combination of being self employed, having support and the nature of my work, it’s not so hard to have my children with me. However, I’m sure that if society was more accepting, more parents (even those not self employed) would be more confident to take their children to work without fear of being viewed as unprofessional. It’s possible when everything and everyone involved is aligned.
My advice to any mum thinking of working with children in tow is to approach with an open mind and a sense of humour. Be ready to adapt and go easy on yourself and your children.”
Claire Renwick, Enterprise & Entrepreneurship Educator - The Rain Gods
“Working whilst parenting can be a delightful experience. Yes it’s a juggling act, yes there’s going to be difficult moments, but it’s surprisingly easy how my baby fitted into my working day and happily commuted into London to the office.
Of course, this is only possible because of the working environment and people I work with, in particular the head of the organisation (male and without children) who was not phased in employing me when I was heavily pregnant and appreciates the crazy hours I keep.
It helped having an understanding employer who was prepared to accommodate flexible hours; bringing the baby to the office and meetings; and trusting me to get the work done around the baby’s schedule.
I don’t know many people who can take their baby along to the office! It’s not so much society, but organisations being flexible and accommodating, not only for children, but other external factors that mean people cannot work rigid hours or need to work remotely. It would be great if more organisations had on site childcare provision - the older the baby gets the less likely they will fit into an office environment for any length of time.
You need to be very organised and work around the baby, accept there are going to be moments when the baby is screaming and you’re in the middle of a meeting and you’re going to have to feed/walk away/reschedule.
Some people will not like a baby being in the office or at a meeting, respect this. I always check that’s it’s going to be ok, before assuming it’s acceptable to take the baby. You’ll be surprised at how positive people are. Get yourself a sling as then the baby is with you and will sleep/feed with little fuss.
Having a flexible attitude is important, and changing your plans to ensure the baby doesn’t disrupt the office - there’s no point going in if they’re teething or grumpy. Accept you’re not going to be able to go to all the events / meetings / trips you did pre-baby and that your working life is taking a different shape!”