POLITICS
06/13/2018 04:17 pm ET Updated Jun 13, 2018

Please Stand For Our New National Anthem: 'What's Up, Bootlickers?'

Support our troops.

A self-described father, veteran and anarchist got up at Wednesday’s Seattle City Council meeting to tell the people who had just voted to repeal a tax on big businesses just what sort of craven, corporate stooges they really are. Let’s set aside the question of whether an anarchist fighting for taxation at a city council meeting is much of an anarchist at all and instead just listen to the man’s words.

And the words he spoke to the council were thus: “What’s up, bootlickers?”

It was only a month ago that the council voted unanimously to pass an employee hours tax, which would have charged large corporations $275 per year for every worker in Seattle; the money would have been used to fund affordable housing and homeless services. Amazon, the largest employer in the city, decided it did not want to contribute to a fraction of the cost needed to help the city’s homeless population of 12,000. The Seattle City Council was happy to oblige. Boots, after all, will not lick themselves.

Here is our new friend’s speech in full:

And the transcript:

All right, I don’t got long. I’m a dad, so I got a kid to take care of. What’s up, bootlickers?

I haven’t seen ya’ll since the campout. I’ve got something to say, right? I’m tired of this fucking shit. I’m a father, I’m a veteran, and I’m an anarchist. Those are three people you don’t want to piss off, all right? I’m tired of children getting attacked in the streets. I’m tired of them sleeping in the fucking streets. I’m tired of seeing the very people that I swore to defend get attacked by the state.

So like I said out there, y’all need to close your fucking beaks and start moving your feet and get shit done. Take resources and put them in the hands of people who need them, all right? Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with y’all?

Who the fuck are y’all to justify letting people die in the streets with your policies and your laws and your legislation. How do you justify that, killing people? I swore to give my life to defend the people from all forms of oppression. Eventually, the shit’s gonna stop. Because when it’s our turn, we won’t “make excuses for the terror.” Marx.

Righteous, compassionate, spirited, with Karl Marx himself tying a nice red bow on top — all the qualities you’d want in an ode to this country we hold so dear.

Is your city council also full of feckless shills? Then please respect our flag by stopping by to ask those bootlickers what’s up. 

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