When It's Okay Not to Network With Ivanka Trump

I don't actually believe that you need to talk to everyone all the time. Networking is a vital part of career growth and discovery, but it only works if you do it in a way that's authentic for you.
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A couple of months ago I sat behind Ivanka Trump on a flight from Newark to Hong Kong.

At the time, I didn't realize that the tallish blonde person in front of me was the daughter of The Donald. She seemed nice enough, pretty smart, a little chatty on the cellphone while we waited to depart, but no more so than the average contemporary flyer. She sounded professional and efficient. I remember guessing that she either worked in finance or was a kind of high-end real-estate lady.

I only discovered her celebrity identity a day or so later. At the end of the flight she had given me her copies of The Atlantic Monthly and OK! (thanks, Ivanka!) and as I picked up The Atlantic to read an article about the failed Bush administration, I saw from the address sticker that the subscriber was Ivanka Trump. Who knew? I think her brother was on the flight, too. He looks a little like Donald Trump, but with normal hair.

One of the reasons I didn't realize I was in a celebrity zone is that I, like every other passenger on Continental Airlines Flight 99, was focused on finding a way to withstand 15 hours and 55 minutes of plane time, which actually was even longer since we had a delayed takeoff. I ate my elaborate dinner, read for awhile, and then consumed my special long-flight cocktail.

Michael's long-flight cocktail:

1 Ambien

1/2 Valium

Some water.

Directions: take pills with water. Wake up 9 hours later. Contraindications: Possible somnabulent eating. Be prepared to discover candy wrappers strewn about your seat with little recollection of where they came from.

What's my point here? My point is that, a couple of days later, when I realized that I had been within networking distance of Ivanka Trump, I thought, "Gee, I wonder if I should have had a conversation with her?" (other than "hey, can I have some of your magazines?" when was getting ready to deplane).

I am a good conversationalist, after all. On previous flights I have struck up easy conversations with Deal-a-Meal inventor and short-shorts enthusiast Richard Simmons (who helped the flight attendants pick up trash) and with young-ish literary star David Eggers (who watched 30 Rock on his computer). As well as with lots of ordinary folks, just like you and me.

I could have chatted with her about careers -- trust me, everyone loves to talk about their careers. Perhaps I could have positioned myself as an intelligent, witty, expert coach commentator for The Apprentice. (I'm very telegenic!) Maybe Trump International needs some executive coaching. There could be many possibilities. This is why mainstream networking experts say you should always talk to everybody, all the time. As I've written before, life often presents you with opportunities, if you are willing to see them. And as I've written in The Creative Lawyer, you probably won't learn about them if you don't talk.

But you know what? I don't actually believe that you need to talk to everyone all the time. There's a time and a place, and sometimes other things are more important. Networking is a vital part of career growth and discovery, but it only works if you do it in a way that's authentic for you. And authenticity means knowing that sometimes other things are more important than networking.

Sometimes, what you really want is to fall asleep for many hours and wake up in another country. And the celebrity in front of you probably wants to do the same thing. So you don't have to network. And that's okay.

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