Have you ever noticed how the fear of rejection stifles our voice? Say you're part of a group and you have this great great idea that would so much enhance whatever it is the group is working on. And because of the fear of being rejected – the fear having your ‘brainchild’ turned down – you decided to forego the right to express whatever brilliant idea you had and simply chose to stay mute…stay silent…say nothing!
Perhaps inside of you is a small voice that kept on whispering how ineffectual that idea will be. Nasty thoughts like "You can't do it!" "That's such a stupid idea!" "Why bother telling others? They'd simply laugh at you!" come crossing your mind. All the while, that earlier confident "I have a brilliant idea" voice starts losing its ground and slowly volumes down. It becomes softer and softer and softer…until you no longer hear it.
And then…Whoosh! That idea is gone. That idea, which may or may have been THE idea, was never even given a fighting chance of being presented for what it is. It just went away as quickly as it came.
You see, we humans have been programmed to reject anything new that it stifles all that we have to say. We've gotten used to the fear of rejection that even to the minutest details of our lives, we seem to have lost the ability to speak up.
I mean, how often do you let others choose something for you? When was the last time someone asked what you wanted for lunch and instead of contemplating, you just let someone decide your food??
Simple things like those affect us as a whole. When we practice this “unnecessary surrender’ in little things, it’s highly likely that we do the same in the BIG things in our lives. This “unnecessary surrender” is detrimental to us because we continue living our lives without bothering to pause and reflect on things as we surrender to what the norm dictates - in fear of being rejected.
And in all honesty, a lot of people have come to the point of being so afraid of the new and the change that more and more experience depression. Perhaps it’s simply easier to ignore that small voice of “something isn’t right” than to hear out that voice.
What’s worse, the fear of rejection somehow makes us push away our own thoughts and feelings. We try to wear them out by maxing out credit cards, drinking too much, complaining about other people and the likes. Yet despite the number of times we try to squash that voice , despite how hard we try to let sleeping dogs lie, that small voice comes back to haunt us – giving us sleepless night…making that void inside of us bigger and bigger and bigger.
Our fear of being rejected creates this story of insignificance. We end up thinking we are insignificant. Our wants are insignificant. Our needs are insignificant. And we end up miserable, gloomy and dissatisfied with whom we’ve become.
But what if you listen - really listen? When something in you says, "I'm not happy." Listen and reflect. Then honestly start a conversation with yourself. Be honest. Be real. Be raw.
Who knows? Perhaps by taking this first step in vulnerability, you are led into a path of transformation – working towards a brighter and happier future. Strongly consider doing this. Take your time getting the hang of self-observation. For when you let that fear of rejection stifle your voice, you lose your essence and you let hope lose hope.