Why Are Women Still Sexually Oppressed in 2016?

09/06/2016 09:36 am ET Updated Sep 06, 2016
Fellatio - which many women like myself love performing.
Shutterstock
Fellatio - which many women like myself love performing.

I’m a libertine.  My entire life is built around sexual pleasure.

I think about sex.  Look for sex.  Have sex.  Write about sex.  Rinse and repeat.

When I’m not doing the above. I’m collecting vintage erotica or downloading pornography.  Sex is such a large part of my identity ― I’m unable to tell you who I am without it.  

Fortunately, I’ve turned my ‘love of sex’ into a living. I write regular sex columns for an array of publications ― including Penthouse Magazine and The Huffington Post.

I write about my love of group sex, my love of performing fellatio and my love of gifting happy endings.  I write about my love of sex-acts which some feminists claim are demeaning. I cover sex in all it’s salacious glory and filth ― I do it  unapologetically.  

Women are oppressed in literature. Women are oppressed as sexual beings.The late Charles Bukowski wrote about beer-shits and ageing hookers. Millennial rappers write about their ‘hoes’ and the ‘bitch’ they banged last night.  But the world isn’t comfortable with a woman writing about her love of turkey-slapping or bedding a banquet of men.

 

Because my nipples are so scary that they need stars on them.
Photo of Vanessa de Largie.
Because my nipples are so scary that they need stars on them.

As my sex-columns grow more popular, the amount of dick pics I receive rises. It’s misogyny!  I’m a liberated woman talking about sex ― so of course I want to receive a random photo of your dick, right??  

It’s the ladies who are most uncomfortable. Some women would like to bury fierce female sexuality.  They find it uncouth, unladylike and nasty. It’s quite possible these women have their husbands hogtied in a cupboard somewhere ― a strip of duct tape covering their mouth. Cough.  Seriously though, you can perform fellatio and be a lady simultaneously  ― they’re not mutually exclusive.  

And why all the embarrassment about enjoying certain sexual acts?  It’s your goddess-given right to enjoy them AND openly admit it.  It’s also your goddess-given right to do whatever you please with your body, ie: post nude photos online.  I post plenty and I love it because I’m an exhibitionist.  I’m so sorry that I don’t feel shame about my nakedness, society.  Perhaps I should try harder to be oppressed and repressed, like you?

I don't usually place stars on my nipples.  I've done it to highlight the ridiculousness of censorship.
Photo of Vanessa de Largie.
I don't usually place stars on my nipples.  I've done it to highlight the ridiculousness of censorship.

It seems that certain ideologies around female sexuality are put forth and then accepted by the masses with no questions asked.  It then takes sex-positive feminists and educators to turn the ship around and reinstall a new belief system.

For example, one of the biggest myths is that women are objectified in porn.  I call BS on that! Objectification is perspective.  Why isn’t the woman seen as the subject and the penis seen as the object?  I can honestly say ― I don’t find porn made for the male gaze insulting, demeaning or degrading to women.  I find it a real turn-on. Thankfully, I have many supporters in many parts of the world who understand my work and what I’m trying to achieve.  Recently I received mention in Canadian magazine - Kinkly for my courage to claim the archetype ― whore.  

Could it be time for the world to claim it’s whore archetype too? Or are we gonna hold tight to the buttons and bows era?  

I think it’s time to evolve, what do you think?

***

Vanessa de Largie is an actress, author, journalist and sex-columnist based in Australia.












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