Why I'm Following My Grandmother's Advice To Never Marry

Bride and groom figurines lying at destroyed wedding cake on tiled floor
Bride and groom figurines lying at destroyed wedding cake on tiled floor

Every girl has someone in her family who trots out the verse "don't marry." In my case, it's my grandmother.

At every family gathering, there inevitably comes the time when you have to address the issue of your love life. Whether you're single or in a relationship, marriage always becomes the topic of conversation.

When will you get married?
Hurry and find someone to marry you!
Do you you plan on getting married?

And then there's my grandmother, who balances all of this out with a thunderous, "don't ever get married!"

And you know what? I agree with her! Yes, I am one of those women who does not want to get married.

This is nothing new. Even as a child, I never dreamed of a beautiful white dress, a charming prince, or a sparkling ring. The fact that my parents divorced only confirmed my opinion.


 
From my point of view, marriage makes things messy.

Everything around me right now is babies and marriage. So naturally, I find myself imagining what it would be like if I were in that situation. And when I imagine myself in a white dress, it's with Converse on my feet, a barbecue in the country for a reception, surrounded by friends wearing jeans. In short, a thing without fuss. But there is little chance of that happening.


 
I'm not against long-term relationships. But I like the idea of living day to day.

From my point of view, marriage makes things messy. I don't know if it's because it puts a label on a couple or because it thrusts obligations on them. But I have seen a number of couples who lived very well together before marriage. Once the rings were on their fingers, everything started to deteriorate.

Of course, I don't live with them, so I do not know everything. But I feel like marriage robs couples of spontaneity. We force ourselves to do certain things, and we create a new model in which we can't be ourselves, so we end up angry with each other.

That's the beginning of the end!

If that were not enough to discourage me, I also happen to be a commitment-phobe. If I came across a guy who knelt down on one knee and took a ring from his pocket, I'd run away. No joke! I'm not against long-term relationships. But I like the idea of living day to day. Of being a whole person, and not half of a couple.


 
I'll add that it costs a fortune to marry, and a fortune once more to divorce! I'd rather invest my money elsewhere.

I have seen girls the terrified faces of girls, once they've realized what getting married meant. I saw them up against their limitations, facing the risk of putting their marriage in danger because the pressure was too great. And these where girls who dreamed of their wedding days.

I do not want to change my name (yes, I know, it's not a requirement these days. But it's still the expectation), I do not want to feel chained. I love knowing that I have the opportunity to leave if necessary. Even if I don't leave. Having the option is a reassuring comfort.

And I'll add that it costs a fortune to marry, and a fortune once more to divorce! If I have to choose, I'd rather invest my money elsewhere.

So yes, you can say it's because I haven't met the right guy yet. It's possible. After all, I'm still single and perhaps I lack a certain sentimental maturity. Only fools do not change their minds! But for now, the question hasn't come up.

And you, what is your opinion about marriage?

This post first appeared on HuffPost France. It has been translated into English and edited for clarity.