The Larry David Shift And Post

10/25/2017 05:17 pm ET Updated Oct 25, 2017
Matt Winkelmeyer via Getty Images

Larry David is HOT. And not because his curly, silver ringlets dangle from his effervescent, shiny head or his elegant, expressive hands move gracefully when he speaks, or because his cheeks always look so soft, smoothly shaven and his teeth, so perfectly pearly white, it’s because of his walk. I have fallen head over heels in love with Larry David’s walk.

I wasn’t looking to fall in love with a walk, any walk, let alone Larry David’s. I surely wasn’t scouring the streets for the perfect walk, I wasn’t even browsing eligible walks online. I was at home, on my couch innocently binge watching, Curb Your Enthusiasm, when lo and behold, in the middle of the second season, love, in walk form, struck me.

And yes, I realize that falling in love with Larry David’s walk, may sound crazy to some people, but love is crazy and so are some people. Actually, most people.

And maybe I should forewarn you, especially all of you intellectually superior media types- if Larry David’s walk runs for President, it will walk away with the Oval.

From my view (and surely all of Florida’s) there’s not a man’s walk, in this entire country that is sexier, or more attractive than Larry David’s. In fact, Larry David’s walk sometimes, depending on the scene, ventures beyond sexy and strides effortlessly right into a mystical realm of nirvana. There are moments when Larry David’s walk could give Buddha and Jesus a run for their money. In those moments he doesn’t just walk on water, he gorgeously glides across the surface streets like a cob on a golf course pond.

Yeah sure, he pushes his neurotically nutty self as far as he can into the land of awkward hilarious squirm but at the same time Larry David is literally light on his feet. Each step radiates “I am richer than God and my body is so relaxed and incredibly comfortable to be in” to a “my clothes are so perfectly loose and my shoes are so satisfying.” It’s an “every studio and network wants me” walk. It’s an “I can do whatever I want, wherever I want because hey, I’m Larry David” walk. Maybe it’s the creative comedy genius of Larry David that creates his super sexy, nirvana walk. Or maybe it stems from eating salads, being rich, and buying great shoes. However this supreme walk came to be, I am completely bonkers for it. And as you may remember, I do bonkers very, very well.

In today’s volatile climate, where every one has a tweet and people are reacting in outrage every few seconds, I’m utterly grateful because not only have I found love again with Larry David’s walk, I have a brand new season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” to savor. And as trivial as that might seem, what we choose to focus on matters. Big time. Our attention causes the thoughts and feelings that we focus on to amplify and multiply. When we focus on outlandish behavior with outrage, we create more of both. Here’s an idea: instead of being the flip side of the same divisive coin, proliferating anger, why not choose a spectacular alternative like Larry David’s walk?

I now present to you: The Larry David Shift and Post.

In the next fifteen seconds, when you become aware of another, brand new, preposterous, polarizing act, instead of immediately posting, sharing outrage, pause and shift your thinking to Larry David’s unbelievably magnificent walk. Imagine what it would feel like to be so free, so comfortable, so rich that you could do whatever you want, whenever you wanted. Or what it might feel like to glide gloriously across the surface of a golf course pond. Larry David’s walk is the perfect antidote. Instead of adding more fuel to the fire (hurting your own body, your own life) shift yourself into the breezy, relaxed groove of Larry David’s walk. Do this by thinking about things that make you feel good, like funny Larry David moments. Choose only thoughts that make you feel happy. It may take minutes, hours, or days but shift into a carefree Larry David space first. After you shift, then post. Or you may decide not to post, or you may want to post something else. Try it. The L.D. Shift and Post will unequivocally change your life for the better.

Take it from me, I am a master on how one person inadvertently creates a world of destruction. For starters, it looks like the problem that makes us feel angry is on the outside. Turns out it’s not, it’s inside of us. Even stranger, the anger that we feel is not because we are right and the rest of the world is wrong. Turns out, anger is our internal indicator that we have chosen the wrong thoughts, that our thinking is off track, out of alignment with our true self. And when we habitually choose thoughts that are off track, and act from them, well, we create a world that looks off track.

Our country needs Larry David and his walk now more than ever. Not only does Curb Your Enthusiasm perfectly depict our insane human condition of “attempting to right the wrongs of the world-the wrong way” with an astounding, scintillating design, it offers us ways to heal. We need to bring more joy and laughter into our own lives. We need to put more of our attention on thoughts that make us feel good. We need to align ourselves with the peaceful ease that Larry David’s walk encompasses, especially before we take any action.

Let’s focus 2020 on Larry David’s walk, let’s apply The Larry David Shift and Post, and I promise you, as long as that hot, sexy walk doesn’t knock me up, together, we will MAKE AMERICA GREATER THAN EVER. Which is pretty, pretty, pretty great.

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