Why Small Is Better: The 5 inch advantage for Men

04/25/2017 03:10 pm ET

Big dicks, hung hunks -- we've all googled those terms.  Unless I am the only one who has hunted them down for purely scientific research purposes? Nah.

If only all sexual minorities were admired this much!   It seems that most men wish they had a whopper instead of the organ that came with their DNA.  Sometimes it's because they think they'd get more romantic traction if they were built bigger, or worry that their partner won't think they're "big enough."   Just as often, it's because they themselves feel they would be sexier to themselves if they could swing a load of meat like a porn star. But the biological realities of a larger-than-average penis tell sex scientists quite a different tale.

Only 15% of all men have organs larger than 7 inches and just a tiny 2% are bigger than 8 inches, as documented in a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which also showed that an average penis is just over 5 inches when hard.   So if you take average to mean "norm," a 5 incher is the most "normal" type of penis to have.

Science turns a cold shoulder to what people think they should have.  Science knows, for example, that if someone was hung like a horse, he'd risk killing his human partners.  Science knows the human penis evolved exactly right to be fully effective, capable of having numerous orgasms every day, able to shoot over a billion sperm a month.  The reason an average penis is about 5 inches long during full erection is because that is the perfect range for efficient performance with the largest number of partners.

If bigger penises were an advantage anywhere outside the human imagination, we'd be super-schlonged as a species. But there is no biological reason or evolutionary advantage for penises to be bigger. I don't want to mess up your divine fantasies.  But when it comes actual sexual functionality, smaller is better.  So here are three reasons to start seeing why less is more when it comes to penis size

BIG PENIS, BIG PENETRATION PROBLEMS

Guys with 6 inches or less can literally partner with anyone and have successful penetrative sex.   Their penis was designed to be easily insertable into the largest number of adults.  It fits comfortably into the adult vagina and into the anus too.  Best of all, when it's smaller, a man can maneuver it better and deliver targeted stimulation.

For people who do not like pain with their penetration, a larger-than-average penis (7 1/2 inches or more fully erect) can be a sensual challenge, especially if the woman has a petite build.  While vaginal tissue expands during intercourse, to allow for full penetration, over 7 inches can be longer than the vaginal canal itself, and bump the uber-sensitive cervix during sex, a howlingly painful experience for women.  Women with anxieties or sex-negativity may come to fear being penetrated altogether and stop their sex lives.   A more efficient (i.e., normal-range) penis can give more women more and better orgasms if the man knows how to move it.

I have never talked to anyone who quit having sex, divorced or broke up with someone, or rejected someone nice because their penis was too small.   Instead, I've talked to tons of women who say they are fine with average, prefer average and have great orgasms with men who are average to small. 

After all, the most pleasurable, orgasm-inducing part of the vagina are the first 2-3 inches into the canal.  The clit and the surrounding tissues leading to and then inside the vaginal canal have the highest concentration of nerve endings and pleasure-receptors.   That is why oral sex and digital stimulation can make a woman cum more successfully than a penis can.  You don't need to penetrate deeper to give a woman satisfying orgasms if you know how to use your penis  -- or hands or mouth or toy.

While people may dream of packing 8 or 9" of thick meat, in reality, finding people who can accept that size is a challenge unless your partners have already worked up the skill to take you in comfortably, were born with equally capacious vaginas, or actually enjoy a little pain with their penetration. I've had three clients over the years whose sex lives with their wives ground to a halt because the women complained of pain or discomfort.

The same applies to anal sex. Smaller fits better, moves better and is less likely to cause pain during penetration.

SMALLER PENIS, BETTER BLOW JOBS

It may look sexy to see tiny people nibble on big rods on the Internet but how do you think it feels to the nibbled upon?  I've known several men who felt eternally deprived of ever getting a truly satisfying blowjob because their girlfriends and wives couldn't go down on too far before gagging.   Meanwhile, one of my clients got TMJ (Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) from too much enthusiastic oral sex to a partner with a huge build.

No matter how good you are giving a blow-job, a guy with a giant penis may never get to see you at your best. Warning: Choking Hazard!   You likely won't be able to deep-throat him unless you have the talents of a sword-swallower and worked on relaxing your throat muscles.  Even then, your teeth may scrape the skin of his penis and leave abrasions.  Your jaw may start hurting a few minutes in.   So again, a smaller penis wins the category for best biological design for oral sex too.  

NORMAL SIZE ORGAN, NORMAL LIFE

Not everyone wants to be a porn star and make a living off the genetic anomaly that gave them a large penis.   It may sound hot in fantasy but in reality, men whose genitals aren't giving them the joy they should have and are being objectified by culture at large feel demeaned.  It triggers shame and confusion over whether people love them as human beings or mainly want to use them as sex toys.  More than a few of them were either the object of teasing or jokes in their youth, and some of them were molested by adults, often older girls or women, who exploited their naivete to get to their meat.   All of these things create stress, shame and emotional conflicts. Jumbo-size organs can lead to jumbo-size problems. Men with large builds commonly complain that

  • Condoms don't fit
  • Their penis dunks in the toilet water when sitting on the seat
  • People are afraid to have sex with them
  • People objectify them
  • Their pants require special tailoring
  • They get unwanted advances
  • They are prone to abuse in their teens
  • They’re subject to smirks and wisecracks

What else makes life perplexing and difficult for men with really big organs?  Sometimes, their penises mess up their minds in ways that normal people can barely understand. Men who fit in the small/normal range (4" to 6") do not express anxiety that women only love them for their penis.  It's different for men who are unusually large. Some of them worry that people don't really want them for their qualities as people but because they are intrigued by their penis.  To deter unwanted attention, or feel properly concealed for work, they spend hours at stores trying on pants that disguise their size or opt for special tailoring to avoid unwanted attention.

If you have a normal build, be grateful.  Learn to make the most of it by natural means -- exercise, good health habits, cutting down on booze, promoting blood flow, and watching your weight.  It's estimated that for every extra 30 pounds a man carries buries his penis shaft by about an inch.   Focus on taking good care of the body you have and get the maximum performance out of your normal build.

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