WEIRD NEWS
08/11/2016 12:09 pm ET

Yes, You Can Buy Penis And Vagina Highlighters For Your Face

These'll have you glowing all day. And night.

Nothing says, “Good morning!” like a shiny penis ... shaped lipstick.

Thanks to makeup brand Bitch Slap Cosmetics, you can now start every day with products that are distinct. And genitalia-themed.

The indie brand is offering a selection of penis and vagina-embossed/shaped products for your facial needs. They sent The Huffington Post three of their “Big Daddy” lipsticks and their “Netflix and Chill” palette.

Needless to say, they’re all deeply intriguing products.

The palette, which retails for $130, contains six highlighters ― three with embossed penises, three with embossed vaginas. Visually, this thing is stunning. 

The mail I got today was slightly NSFW... 🙈🙆🏻 #highlighter #lol #why #makeup

A photo posted by Jenna Amatulli (@ohheyjenna) on

We’d have appreciated a variation in the shapes of the penises and vaginas, but you can’t have it all. 

Each swatch has two swipes of pigment from the pan.
The Huffington Post
Each swatch has two swipes of pigment from the pan.

Potential buyers should know that the packaging is made from cheap plastic and the pigment on these babies is sheer and glittery. It also wipes off easily.

The lipsticks also have a see-through pigment, but the rose scent is a nice touch. Also, the joy of swiping a phallus on your lips in the middle of your workplace cannot go undiscussed. It’s a great time.

None of the lipsticks have names, but these are the three they sent us.
The Huffington Post
None of the lipsticks have names, but these are the three they sent us.

Each “Big Daddy” lipstick retails at $11 and our favorite part about ordering is that you can’t actually pick which color you get. The site features a fun disclaimer that indicates that if you order “warm and med[ium] tones, you will receive 1 of any med[ium] warm tones color.” 

It’s basically a Russian Roulette of dick lipsticks. The world is a glorious place. 

HuffPost

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