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1. You know what MLP stands for.*
2. Needy interlopers sometimes take over your bed in the middle of the night.
3. Your living room often looks like a bad day at Chuck E. Cheese.
4. You can define any of the following: Beaba, nipple shield, Sleep Sheep.
5. Sweat pants are a fashion choice, not a faux pas.
6. You now rank bodily functions like this. #1 Pee (totally manageable), #2 Poop (Depends. But usually, this can be handled.), #3 Vomit (All bets are off. Get out the hazmat suits people).
7. You have a bedazzled anything (Bonus points if your laptop is bedazzled).
8. You've ever dealt with this.
9. Your wallpaper is part-sticker-part-crayon.
10. You can speak Cranky Toddler. (It's a lot like Yoda speak only angrier. Example: "Me need bunny now!" "Me no like peas!")
11. You know all the words to "Let it Go" (Bonus if you know exactly when Elsa throws off her cape. Triple bonus if you know when she sheds the gloves.)
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12. You have uttered these words: "No, we don't eat pancakes with our feet."
13. You've answered the question, "Mommy/Daddy what happens when you eat poop?"
14. You sometimes speak in the royal "we" as in: "First, we're going to go pee pee. Then, we're going to wipey. Then, we'll flushy."
15. You have wiped boogers onto any part of your physical person.
16. You've wiped a lot of little butts.
17. Amazon sends you requests to rate "season four of Blue's Clues."
18. A trip alone to the grocery store is heavenly. No really, you're ready to set up shop in the cereal aisle and take a nap.
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19. You've broken a sweat installing a car seat.
20. If you've gotten five straight hours of deep sleep in the past few years it's because you were having surgery or in the hospital.
21. You no longer use an alarm clock.
*That's My Little Pony for you newbies.
P.S. I'm sure these lists have been done before, but this is my personal take on it.
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Why Is Your Kid Crying?
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