05/02/2014 09:38 am ET Updated Jul 02, 2014

Wedding Confessions: Why Being Married Is No Excuse to Stop Dancing

Early on in our relationship, we decided that if we ever got married, our first dance would be to the song "Someone to Watch Over Me." Although she passed away before we made it to our wedding day, we still had the chance to dance to our song.

Every time we went to a friend's wedding, I'd find an opportunity to sneak away from our table to ask somebody in the band if they knew that particular Gershwin tune. When the band slipped it into their set list later in the evening, she would look at me accusingly as she took my hand on the way to the dance floor, knowing full well that I was guilty of requesting our song.

As the band played, we'd dance slowly. I'd tell her how beautiful she looked. I'd tell her how much I loved her. We'd make little jokes. Looking around the room, we'd admire the skills of an older couple who'd clearly taken ballroom dancing lessons. She'd look back at me and smile, and I'd melt. We'd talk about dancing to this song at our own wedding. Someday.

Nobody else (including the newlyweds) ever knew that those reception dinners were actually secret dance rehearsals for my own wedding.

Was I hijacking other people's weddings? Yes, but I was going to make it up to them. I had a plan.

When the time came for our wedding reception, I was going to confess to our guests that I'd been slipping notes to wedding bands and DJs for years, that our song had been played at all of their weddings. Then I'd tell them how I was going to use our wedding to pay them back: For the rest of the night, the band would be playing their first-dance songs... and I expected everybody to take to the floor for an encore performance because being married is no excuse to stop dancing.

Well, that was my plan anyway. I apologize for saying this, but sometimes plans and reality diverge. You never know when it will be your last dance.

Since my original plan didn't work out, I'd like to make one more request: As soon as you see your husband or your wife, stop whatever you're doing, take them in your arms, hum your song, and dance.

You don't need to wait for the band to play.