04/02/2013 12:25 pm ET Updated Jun 02, 2013

Why the World Needs You to Be the Real You!

I heard some powerful and inspiring speakers a few weeks ago in San Jose at Hay House's IGNITE Conference. Preparing for my own talk on the second day of the conference, I spent the first day listening to what the other speakers were saying and watching keenly to how the crowd was responding. All of the speakers were great... but some of them were captivating and simply excellent. What was the difference?

I realized there were some speakers whose messages I "lost myself" in. They were fully present, connected to the divine, and completely themselves. That, I realized, was the difference. Their vulnerability, realness and connection compelled the audience to also connect to the divine within and really resonate with their messages.

When you are 100 percent comfortable in your own skin, you put out an amazing and authentically confident vibe. You attract just the right people -- people who love you for who you really are. There is no better place to be. For most my life, I wanted everyone to like me, so I acted how I thought each person would prefer. The "real" me didn't always get to come out and play, and I didn't even realize it. I did know that with certain people, I felt more joyful. I felt more alive and able to relax and be myself. Have you ever been in the presence of people who know and love you just for who you are? Yeah, it feels pretty good.

As an adult, I was slowly subduing and losing touch with my authentic self. I had dulled down my exuberance. I had made my wardrobe and speech slightly more masculine to fit in with my male engineer colleagues. I spent time with people who gossiped and were hurtful to others. That is not me. My inner light was dimming as I stuffed the real me in to please everyone else in the world I had created.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -- Anais Nin

I had to do it, and it wasn't an overnight experience. Essentially, I took little steps to reveal my true self, and be "her" as often as possible. I still fall into old habits from time to time, but the more I unearth and become myself, the happier I am. I now feel a profound sense of discomfort when I am being inauthentic.

The real you is more wise, powerful, and profound than can imagine.

How can you rediscover and live as the real you?

  • You can reconnect with the real you through meditation. Listen to your thoughts during those quiet moments. As you whittle down the chatter, the thoughts that appear are wise and help you know your true purpose and happiness.
  • Notice what makes you feel joyful and alive. Do more of that!
  • Become aware of your true preferences. What do you like to wear and how do you want to present yourself? What makes you feel beautiful? What foods and drinks do you savor and relish?
  • Do you have friends and family that make you feel extremely comfortable and able to speak and love openly? Spend more time with them. Slowly wean yourself from people who encourage your ego, make you feel self-conscious, or impart negative energy.

Being the real you might cause some discomfort and change. Not everyone will like it when you are more connected and genuine. That's okay. You will now attract just the right people -- those who will love you, support you, and lift you up. That is the beauty of marriages and friendships between authentic individuals.

Do you feel like you are living fully as yourself? What steps can you take right now to discover and live as the real you? Please leave your comments below; I 'd love to hear from you!

For more by Erin Cox, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.