THE BLOG
04/25/2014 01:29 pm ET Updated Jun 24, 2014

Naturally High -- Sensuality and Eroticism

What does it mean to be naturally high? How can we achieve this and how can sensuality and eroticism be powerful allies in living life with dramatically increased richness and subtlety of experience?

The way I am defining "high" is a greater richness and subtlety of experience. This is similar to the high people get on drugs, but that is a poor substitute with all kinds of disadvantages to being naturally high. Going high means increased sensitivity on subtler and subtler levels of experience. One's potential for pleasure expands dramatically. Colors, textures, sounds and so on, are more vibrant, more alive. Red is really red, for example. Red becomes an infinite world, of texture, tone, sensation, mood, and so on.

When we are naturally high, we are less distracted by thoughts and we feel our bodies more. Sensations are much more immediate and subtle. Fine dining can invite us into this type of experience because it invites us into our sensory experience at finer levels of perception. We can see that being naturally high is intimately related to our senses, our sensuality.

Sexual activity, especially extended orgasm, is almost unparalleled in its ability to get us naturally high because it immerses us in our sensuality, immediately, powerfully, now. Alicia and I have a practice of an extended orgasm every day and it really lifts our life into the stratosphere. We recommend this practice for everyone. It's a powerful lifestyle change that singles and couples can both practice. Singles can have dates with sensuality research partners or do their sensuality exercises.

"Peaking" is critical to getting really high. Peaking means taking breaks to come down, whether it is a skipped stroke on a clitoris or changing the music or whatever. Having facility with "down" is critical to being "high".

Grounding or coming down pleasurably is an important part of living a naturally high life. If we are not deliberate about coming down then we, ourselves, and our partners will resist getting high. Coming down is everything from small peaks to really bringing ourselves down, say after an extended orgasm date in preparation for driving or work or whatever.

Taking a shower, exercising, getting a massage, watching a drama, and so on, are all good ways of coming down. The list is infinite. The point is to be deliberate, not just about getting high, but about coming down as well or you are likely to crash as the ego tries to restore it's more habitual level of (dulled) sensitivity.

The ego's version of getting high is more like chasing after some type of sensation. It's a type of over-excitement. And the ego's version of coming down is more like what we normally consider "bad". The egos version of getting high and coming down are conceptual versus really perceiving reality in either a more subtle high way or more grounded and material way.

Living naturally high really means living more openly, more subtly, more sensitively. A greater spectrum of reality is perceived. In this sense, I'm equating being high with being real. Therefore when we come down we can still be "high" in the sense of being real versus coming down back into our heads, into our egos.

Eroticism can add excitement, enthusiasm and energy to this naturally high lifestyle, as long as it doesn't dominate, in which case conceptual thought would dominate. Eroticism is conceptual, but in just the right amount it adds dynamism, an added dimension, more motion.

So sensuality and eroticism as a daily practice, especially in the form of extended orgasm, are powerful allies in living life with dramatically increased richness and subtlety of experience. When Alicia and I teach the Sensuality Expansion Program, participants get higher than they have ever been in their lives because they are focusing on extended orgasm for 8 to 10 days straight in a retreat setting without interruption!