06/14/2013 05:17 pm ET Updated Aug 14, 2013

Excited About NSA's New Possible Service

Dear NSA,

I was really excited to hear about how well you know me. I use Apple, Twitter, Skype, YouTube, Facebook, Google and my phone service is with Verizon. I am a single woman in SF... wait, you already know this.

Why am I so excited? I realized today you have the best technology and information to find for me a single man in my neighborhood with my same interests. You have such intimate information on most of us, I trust your matching abilities will be stellar. And since my tax dollars paid for your ability to gather such great information, I have already pre-paid for this service!

So, please send me the first best 10 matches you have for me and we'll go from there. Thank you for building this great service. I'm waiting by my inbox (you know my email).