GPS FOR THE SOUL
02/18/2016 11:27 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Drop Your Ego With 5 Techniques

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It's difficult to find anyone that's immune to the happiness of a child's smile, the innocence of child's mind or the freedom of their honesty.

It's liberating to see them get lost in something they're passionate about. I've found that the freedom of losing oneself is something a lot of people avoid once they reach adulthood, and I think the main reason is to protect themselves from being vulnerable to avoid getting hurt. When in retrospect this is more of a sign of weakness than strength.

This is why in times that we're driven by the same innocence/naivety of a child we can clear our minds and remove the fear and doubt that we have as a result of the limitations we set on ourselves. 2016-02-18-1455808932-9178609-faniatage5pic.jpg

If we grow and expand our awareness every time we "fail," then why are people so afraid to fail?

Surely this is the beauty of life. The endless journey of different experiences, feelings, mistakes and lessons.

As we grow up and develop our emotional and social intelligence our character starts to form and mould our personality from a very young age, however interestingly as a child we haven't learnt or become trapped by our ego. They aren't frightened by the fear of failure that most of us learn as we get older. I believe Jim Carrey said it best in his commencement address at the 2014 M.U.M. graduation, "If you listen to the ego, there will always be someone doing better than you. No matter what you gain, the ego will not let you rest. It will tell you that you cannot stop until you've left an indelible mark on the earth, until you've achieved immortality. How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with a promise of something we already possess?"

Children are not scared to express their emotions, they are not scared to say what they think, to show what they feel or feel the beauty of the unknown. They live in the present moment, in the now.

In the first part of our own personal inner growth, we try to adapt to different people and situations to feel worthy and accepted. Our mind starts to work and our egos start to grow and begin to take control of our life and our thoughts. We generally put on an act to be everything but ourselves in order to feel "liked." It takes a lot of personal work to discover who you are and not to be driven by the temptations of the ego. It's a constant journey, one that a lot of people avoid yet ironically still want the benefit of the end result.

The truth is that in the process of our personal developmental journey and life challenges we are bound to get hurt. Be it different experiences, bad relationships, betrayal or abandonment, a lot of these experiences form in us like a leach of fear that drains and taints our perspective on future experiences and relationships.

I often hear people say, "I have to be more careful, I was hurt last time." And "How can I trust anyone when so many people have betrayed me?" But is this the actual truth or only the perspective/voice of your ego?

"When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind and beautiful." -- Yogi Bhajan

Shouldn't we instead become better people from those experiences rather than close ourselves to new ones?

Shouldn't we instead be everything contrary to those experiences and people, and just use them as lessons to tackle new challenges with a new awareness and knowledge?

By being more controlling of our lives we actually block ourselves from new experiences. I don't believe the aim should be to be more "careful" but rather to be "full of care." We can't control our relationships to be certain we won't get hurt, it's a matter of learning from our past experiences and learning to let go of our egos to live like a child does. To fall down and get back up, but with every fall become a bit stronger, smarter and more aware.

We are here to experience, to develop nurturing relationships with our higher self and to find our purpose.

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Here are my 5 techniques to learn to let go of our egos and enjoy life.

1. Practice forgiveness & letting go.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -- Mahatma Gandhi

  • The most powerful tool to learn to let go of our egos to make life easier is to practice forgiveness. We have to learn to forgive the people who hurt us and most importantly we have to learn to forgive ourselves.
  • Accept, let go and keep moving forward. Forgiveness will open the windows to your soul, and remove the negativity to allow room for new happiness.

2. Practice honesty and being open.

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." -- Will Smith

  • The most important sentence I've ever heard, and I'm sure you've heard it too, "The truth will set you free." Suppressing our emotions can develop depression and anxiety. Always seek the truth.
  • Honesty provides us unconditional freedom to be connected with ourselves instead of trying to be something that we're not.
  • Learn to say no to the things that don't add value in you're life, and open your arms and run towards the things that do.
3. Surrender your need for control.
  • We are not our egos, we are not our jobs, we are not our material possessions, and we are not our achievements. Once you let your ego control your life, you will never be happy or relaxed because as soon as you lose one of the things that you identify with, the rest will fall like dominos and you will lose your happiness.
  • Break the fears and trust life! Don't be scare to love. Take risks. Be curious. Explore. Do what makes you happy. Try to do every day something that scares you and you'll start to feel happiness in the small things.
4. Enjoy silent moments with yourself.
  • Create an every day routine to remind yourself why it's beautiful to be you. To know that you are enough.
  • Everyday perform a selfless act of love, and enjoy giving without the expectation to receive.
  • Take 5 minutes every day to be with yourself in silence, because sometimes in silence you can find the answers that the voices never can.

5. Practice gratitude.

"It's not happy people who are thankful; it's thankful people who are happy." -- Unknown

  • Take 5 minutes everyday to think about all the people, experiences, lessons and mistakes you are thankful for.
  • Grateful people feel more love and compassion and feel more alive than those who don't.
  • Appreciate everything and everyone and you'll discover true beauty in your life.

Learning to let go of your ego is very easy in theory, however can be very difficult to execute in the moment. When I think about times that I've been frustrated I always recognize a single thought that resonates in my head, "Drop your ego! You have nothing to lose here, but a whole life to win."

I hope you've enjoyed reading and found my techniques helpful, if so please share it with your friends, it may be exactly what they need to hear.

I'd love to hear what actions you take, and what makes your life worth living. Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below.

Never forget, we always have a chance to make our life beautiful.

Fani xx

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