THE BLOG
07/03/2014 07:36 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

14 Awful British Foods That Make Us Proud to Be American

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This holiday, it's easy to get caught up in the frills. Fireworks, grilling, the old red, white, and blue. But let's not forget the true reason for the season, celebrating our liberation from our staunch, haggis-eating, tea-drinking forefathers. Think about it. If we hadn't told GB to buzz off, we may have never created the Double Down. Girl Scout Cookies would only be eaten at tea time. French fries would be called chips and chips would be called crisps. Crisps!

So, this Independence Day, remember there's plenty reason to revel in our independence, especially the fact that we didn't get stuck eating that awful soggy grey stuff they call "food" on the other side of the pond. Sure Britain's got its cool accents and nifty TV shows, but we'll take a deep-fried twinkie over this mess any day:

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1. Stargazey Pie -- Pastry Pie Topped With Fish Heads


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2. Jellied Eels -- Like Unagi, Only Gross


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3. Haggis -- Sheep Heart Pudding Thing


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4. Black Pudding -- Pig's Blood Pudding Sausage Thing


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5. Baby Gaga Ice Cream -- Made From Human Breast Milk


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PicThx Mother Nature Network 

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6. Spotted Dick -- Thankfully Not Diseased Genitalia


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7. Laverbread -- Seaweed?


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PicThx Neil Cooks Grigson

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8. Sussex Pond Pudding -- Boiled Cake With Whole Lemon Inside


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9. Turkey Twizzlers -- Curly British Slim Jims?


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10. Marmite -- Yeast Extract Based Salty Poop Sauce


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11. Bubble and Squeak -- Fragrant Medley Of Last Night's Leftover Cabbage


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12. Pork Faggots -- Unfortunately Named Offal Meatballs


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PicThx Lily In Canada

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13. Flies Graveyard -- Giant Raisin Newtons


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14. Mushy Peas -- Not Gross, Still Sad Looking


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Originally written by Dominique Zamora for Foodbeast.com