09/28/2015 10:45 am ET Updated Sep 27, 2016

Games of Self Protection

We are here to see and be seen. One of the ways I do this is through writing.

I write because I need to have a vessel to express the ineffable, or to let light into the secret hidden corridors of my castle. I stand at the door looking out at the world.

Sometimes timid and with big shy eyes when the world seems too loud and chaotic.

Sometimes with the door swung wide open with a symphony beckoning you to come in and rest your weary heart. Here, let me feed you. Let me pour a foot bath with rose petals to soak your well-worn feet.

This is why I have devoted my life to being a coach and Minister to help others.

This is also why I invest heavily in my own coaching.

We all need a little coaxing out of hiding if we are genuinely in the game of being seen for our truest selves. You know the castle -- you've got one too. Well aware that within this castle are treasure chests of soul gifts as well as dusty corners of cobwebby hurt and shame, beliefs of limitation and lack. Surrounding this castle is a moat, it's meant to keep us safe. It keeps out danger. Maybe your moat is built of self-protection, rigid rules of conduct, and games that make it hard for people to get close to us.

My moat is built of mistrust, fears of being left behind, and has an obstacle course that wants certainty that you are safe. Anyone who gets through this test is then let into my jewel heart. Those that don't, well, I'll try my best to not take it personally and make you wrong. This moat also keeps us isolated. For what meaning do gems and jewels have if we have no one to share them with? If our self-protection is so well constructed that we no longer see reality? If we no longer can assess ancient danger from a current invitation for intimacy?

Sometimes the greatest journey lies in letting down the draw-bridge - the one that allows us to venture out into the world, into the hearts and lives of others. The bridge that says to you 'Welcome. You are an honored guest in my world. Come in, dear friend.'

Sometimes it's about holding a grand ball where those 'strangers' are allowed in a few steps closer - yes, they might see the cracks in the facade and they may also sense the warm, ripe heart behind it all.

Some may steal from you and yet some, some may love you so dearly that they hold a mirror of such glory that the only reflection you see is of God's love looking back at you through your very own eyes.

This is why I love coaching. I get to be the mirror. I get to be the reflection where you are already whole, already happy and already loving. Then we get to work -- rearranging the furniture of your life and castle to support this true reflection of you.

Mirror, mirror on the wall... who is the fairest of them all? The answer is within you. And you. And you.

There's a cool payoff to doing inner work - our lives actually get better. Hurt dissolves. Relationships become easier. We are nicer to ourselves. Money doesn't have power over us anymore yet there is space for it to flow easily.

If you're feeling the call to come out of hiding, tend to your secret heart and look at ways to bring more of YOU into your world, your work and your love life -- I welcome you. Wholeheartedly. All of you.

I'll sign off for now with a prayer that I learned from Dr. Robert Holden, in which he learned from a nun.

"O God, help me to believe the truth about myself -- no matter how beautiful it is!" Macrina Wiederkehr.

See you inside the ball!

I ask you now to reflect on what your moat is made up of. Is it fear, self-preservation, hurt? Let's work together to figure out how to build a draw bridge over your moat that leads yourself, and others, into your beautiful castle.