12/24/2010 04:33 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Want to Relieve Stress and Enjoy the Holidays? Add More '-ing' to the Season

Spending the holidays with family can dredge up old resentments and emotional challenges. I firmly believe that you can turn these obstacles into opportunities for positive change. Making changes within family dynamics can be tough, and true change doesn't allow for shortcuts. It calls for willingness, commitment and "-ing!" Your "-ing" is your inner guide, your inspiration, your intuition. It's the loving voice in the back of your mind that keeps you connected to an infinite source of positivity and a deep desire to grow.

Your "-ing" lives inside you and never expires. You've just been unable to receive it. You've been blocked from "-ing's" presence by fear, negative thoughts, resentment and self-destructive behavior. To clear these blocks, follow my fun, three-step process designed to bulldoze negative thought patterns and create positive change so you can enjoy your time with family and bring happy back into your holiday!

Step 1: Gratitude Is the Attitude
When spending time with family, focus on what you're grateful for. Being grateful activates appreciation and an overall sense of inner peace. Write a gratitude list and read it each morning. Post this gratitude list where you can see it: on your fridge, on your desk or in your car. I have mine posted on the dashboard of my car so I can read it right before I walk into my parents' home for the holidays. For extra "-ing" points, share your gratitude list with your family!

Step 2: Use the Universal Mirror
This tool will help you break old patterns. Recognize the feelings that come up when you're with your family. Rather than point the finger at others, turn inward and ask yourself, "What old feelings do I need to deal with?" This exercise will help you see how your outer experience is a reflection of your inner state. Using the mirror helps you stop blaming and start dealing with unhealed areas of your life.

Step 3: Use the F Word
"F" is for forgiveness. Holding on to resentment keeps you stuck in the past, and anger weakens your thoughts, energy and physical well-being. When you forgive, you release negativity and clear space for happiness to come back into your life. Whenever you get hung up on resentment, repeat this affirmation: "I forgive you and I release you." This positive affirmation is like an automatic reset button. It will bring you back to your "-ing!"

Relatives can be your best teachers. Take these three steps seriously and you're bound to experience powerful change. If you'd like to further your "-ing" journey in all areas of your life, check out my book, "Add More ~ing To Your Life -- A Hip Guide to Happiness."

For further guidance, watch my Happy Holidays Webinar: