09/08/2014 05:50 pm ET Updated Nov 08, 2014

Highs and Lows

Where do they come from, our highs and lows? From our bank accounts, marital status, success or failures, the weather? Because sometimes it looks as if our moods come from circumstances such as these (and sometimes it doesn't) -- this question has plagued human beings forever. So let's see what we can do about ending the confusion.

In short, our highs and lows don't come from any of the above. They don't come from anything circumstantial, or on the outside. They come from the inside. They come from our thinking.

Now, this is not theory. This is not my personal concept or approach. Inside each of us, there is a direct link from our thinking to our feeling state. And this link is an irrefutable truth. Meaning: It's also an irrefutable truth that any link from our circumstances to our feeling state is an illusion -- it's all made up.

What I'm pointing toward is merely this: You'll feel good to the extent that you're not linking your feelings to circumstance. You'll feel bad to the extent that you are. For example, if I'm at one of my kids' athletic events and attribute my feelings to his or her performance on the field, I'm bound to feel anxious. Why? Because feeding this outside-in misconception with attention and belief requires thought -- a lot of thought. And the more I think, the worse I feel. That's how the thought-feeling connection works.

This is not to say that it's wrong to look toward circumstance as the source of your feelings. It's almost impossible not to. We all have particular life situations where we've made it a habit to look outside for the reason we feel low -- or high. Yet, take a step back and consider how you feel when you do this: That off sensation in your gut is actually a sign that you're experiencing a momentary overload of thought. And that overload makes it look like your moods are the result of something that's happened, or going to happen, "out there."

So, then, the next time you wonder where feelings come from, remember: If you feel low and decide to look toward circumstance, you'll find a hundred excuses. What's cool, though, is if you feel low and don't look outside, you'll self-correct (your head will clear) and you'll feel better in spite of the exact same circumstances. As I said, your highs and lows come from one place only -- the ebb and flow of what naturally takes place on the inside. The thought-feeling connection is foolproof.