09/16/2014 12:26 pm ET Updated Nov 16, 2014

The True Meaning of the Ray Rice Scandal

Ray Rice did damage. His actions were completely unacceptable. But like Ray Rice, I've done damage. My behavior, a few times in my life, has been completely unacceptable. And the same goes for you and the many people who've jumped on the bandwagon of judgment.

I know what you're thinking: "That may be true, but I never hit a woman. Domestic violence is just plain wrong." Well, violence of any type is plain wrong. Verbal abuse is plain wrong. Bullying is plain wrong. War is plain wrong. My question is: What the heck are we going to do about it?

So far, the standard answer for people like Rice, and organizations like the NFL, is to throw the book at him. Suspend him from the league forever. Hmm, can someone please tell me what that's going to do? How is suspending Rice going to keep him from hitting his wife the next time he's tempted? In the heat of emotion and rage, do you truly believe that a person is going to stop and say to himself, "I better not do this because if I do I'll get suspended." No chance. In fact, this type of discipline has been in place in virtually all walks of life forever. Has it really served as a deterrent? Is violence getting better or worse? We both know the unfortunate answer.

Ray Rice needs help. Ray Rice needs love. Ray Rice needs to be taught that his feelings (anger, insecurity, frustration, etc.) don't come from the behavior of his wife. They don't come from his past. They don't come from his career. They come from him! And, again, it's not just Ray Rice. It's Israel. It's Hamas. It's the United States. It's terrorists around the world. It's you. It's me. Feelings come from the inside. From the natural ebb and flow of thought. Until this principle is universally taught and understood, violence will continue to escalate.

It's time to wake up, people. We're all guilty of the same misunderstanding. You can't wage war with another person if you grasp that your feelings come from your own thinking. Looking outside and blaming your troubles on something or someone else is just plain wrong.