08/20/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

GM to Buy Back All Pontiac Azteks for Cash!


A few weeks ago I posted an open letter to GM CEO Fritz Henderson on the first day of GM's entering into bankruptcy protection, offering my concern that Mr. Henderson's reliance on great GM design to save the company might be a problem since GM had put so much ugly tin on America's roads. I also noted that GM's culture needed to change, and this was their last chance to get it right. I didn't mention that most experts on corporate change say it requires 3 -- 5 years to accomplish, if you know what you're doing.

In an amazing display of exactly what I was talking about, Mr. Henderson tossed my article over the fence and assigned the response to Global VP for all design, Ed Welburn, who wrote a public letter back to "Gerald Sindell of the Huffington Post," which contained an impassioned defense of GM design, and the thousands of artists and modelers at work around the clock and around the world creating beautiful new GM cars. Mr. Welburn invited me to visit GM dealerships, look at and drive the new Chevys, Buicks and Cadillacs. I was also invited to visit to global design headquarters in Detroit and see for myself.

I went to the GM website which lists a number of dealers nearby in San Francisco and Marin County, but when I tried to call them I was shocked to discover that their phones were disconnected. I eventually found some GM dealers who were answering their phones and asked to see if they had the cars Ed had suggested I look at. Although half the models had not yet arrived, I did eventually spend two days visiting three GM dealerships, made many notes, talked to a lot of salespeople, and drove some cars. I sent an email to Mr. Welburn asking if he would like my private thoughts, and upon his acceptance, I wrote him an 8 page letter about what I had seen in the field and made some suggestions about how the consumer experience might be improved. I asked him to please let me know if he had received my email.

But I received no answer. None.

I wrote again, asking for Mr. Welburn to confirm whether or not he had received my letter. And I wrote a third time this week. Again, silence.

So, what the heck. I might as well share some of my thoughts about GM publicly.

I think it would be a good idea for GM to make a grand gesture, as a way of saying we're sorry, we get it, we are a different kind of company now. We know we're never going to be as cool as Apple, but we're going to prove to you we're not your bankruptcy lawyer's old GM.

And as part of our sincere effort to undo some of the design atrocities of the past, we're going to remove some of the eyesores that have made America's highways home to most of the ugliest cars the world has ever seen. That's right: GM is going to send our tow trucks out there all across America and buy back a few ugly cars and send them to the recycler. And we're going to start with the Pontiac Aztek. Why single out the Aztek? Because in Mr. Welburn's letter to me he singled out the Aztek as one of GM's "misstep"s.

So there you have it. I'm offering it for free: my brilliant idea for GM to salvage its reputation, demonstrate imagination and commitment, make good on mistakes in the past, all in one daring move. Now don't jump on the phone and call GM. If you are an Aztek's owner, your days of humiliation are over. Just take that eyesore out of your garage, park it in front of your house, and wait for that GM towtruck to come to your neighborhood. It's coming soon, I promise.