08/22/2013 02:47 pm ET Updated Oct 22, 2013

10 Reasons You Should Be Grateful You Dumped or Were Dumped

Here are my Top 10 Reasons You Should Be Grateful You Dumped (or Were Dumped By) Your Bad Betrothed (or Bad Boyfriend) --

1. He taught you that "boredom" is an anagram of "bedroom."

2. He helped you understand the importance of staying away from guys who play the opening chords to "Smoke on the Water" all the time, even when they are way past the bassist stage.

3. He helped you understand that for some men the phrase "sowing wild oats" actually means "always having a blonde bent over a coffee table."

4. You learned from him that there are insignificant others as well as significant others.

5. From him you learned that men fake sleep the way that women fake orgasms: to be left alone already.

6. You understood from being in a relationship with him that a truly thoughtful lover would not always attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.

7. He taught you that while breaking up might be hard to do, staying in a fundamentally miserable, spiritually chaotic, emotionally unsafe, and unutterably unfulfilling relationship was worse.

8. You learned, while being in that relationship, that someone else's constant sense of suspicion is capable of eroding your own sense of trust and self-worth to the point where you doubt your sanity as well as your integrity.

9. Once you ended the relationship, you discovered that you no longer had to hide all your own stuff because he didn't like it, thereby happily freeing yourself from the "Repressed School of Interior Decoration."

10. All your previous boyfriends -- good, bad, and indifferent -- helped make you who you are today and who you are today is someone who can have an absolutely fabulous time tomorrow, if only you give yourself a chance.

Say thanks, so long, and wave good-by without turning back.

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Add your own reasons in the comments below.

This post is based on a piece originally published in Psychology Today