02/27/2012 01:38 pm ET Updated Apr 28, 2012

How to Be Happy

Happiness is the driving force of mankind, and has been for thousands of years. People want to achieve happiness more than any other thing in life. Regardless of religion, politics or economic status, what we all agree on is that happiness is a worthy goal. People seek to be happy in their lives, their work, with family, in their communities, during their free time and in all their endeavors.

Most of my life, I confused feeling good with being happy. While many things may make a person happy for a moment, it may not make them happy. Money, another person, winning an argument, sweets and more may make you temporarily happy, but not make you happy. Look at the number of addictions that are the result of this confusion between feeling good and being happy.

Here are three tips to increasing happiness:

1.Be Responsible for your Happiness

No one is responsible to create this for you but you. Not your kids, your spouse, your employer, your customers, box of chocolates, being rich or things. It has been said, "Money won't make you happy." While that is true, being poor won't make you happy either. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happy is an inside job. You can not increase your happiness until you take responsibility for your happiness and not look for it in things or people. Decide that you and only you are able to create happiness for yourself.

2. Dedicate Yourself to Being Great

You will find happiness in areas where you are GREAT. Take a moment and look back over your life, and you will see that where you are able to excel you experience happiness. That is why it is said, "Do what you love and you will succeed." Dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better. I assure you when you have more confidence, you will experience an increase in happiness. This has nothing to do with a material gain, but with a personal experience that no one can take from you

3. Separate Happiness from Feeling Good

These are completely different targets. Most people just go through life complaining that they are not happy, and instead look to things that make them feel good or provide an escape. As a younger man, I was always doing what made me feel good but then made me unhappy. Feelings are overrated and they won't guarantee happiness. The search for feeling good is merely a distraction and diversion, a waste of time from being happy.

Happiness Scale:

Measure your happiness in all the areas of your life on a scale from one to 100. Marriage, finances, business, income, kids, spiritual, physical, etc. and rate each one. Most people have no idea where there are. Any time you are struggling in some area of your life, stop and ask yourself: "Where am I on a scale from one to 100?" Just rating the area may show you that you are doing better than you think. If your response is below 90, then ask yourself, "What can I do to increase my happiness in this area?" Then do whatever that "thing" is and watch your happiness increase.

Be responsible for your happiness, differentiate between feeling good and being happy, be great at what you do every day and then take the time to analyze where you are from time to time, and you will increase your happiness!


Grant Cardone, NY Times Best Selling Author

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